Got Their Brain For Free

, , , , , , | Right | July 5, 2018

(A customer comes up to the counter with two clearance items, which are on special — buy one, get one half-off — which is clearly signed.)

Me: “Your total is $13.23.”

Customer: *confused* “This isn’t half-off?”

Me: “No, ma’am. The sale is buy one, get one half-off.”

Customer: “Okay. I’ll put [more expensive one] back, then.”

Me: “Okay. Your new total is $5.29.”

Customer: “I thought this was half-off.”

Me: “The sale is buy one, get one half-off.”

Customer: *looks at sign* “Oh, I guess I need to learn to read.” *hands me seven ones to pay*

Me: *internally* “Need to learn to count, too.”

Not Much Sleeping Involved

, , , , , , | Related | May 4, 2018

(My grandparents are visiting from North Dakota and are staying at my family’s house, which is relatively small and has a distinct lack of guest bedrooms.)

Grandma: *to my parents* “We’re not kicking you out of your room again, are we? Where will you be sleeping?”

Dad: “Around. Wait, that came out wrong.”

Me: *hysterical laughter*

Unfiltered Story #108210

, , , | Unfiltered | April 3, 2018

(This takes place when I still worked at my store from 6 am – 2 pm as a cashier. Someone had to quit the morning shift and placed me as the morning cashier, a.k.a I’m the only one in a actual lane until the other cashiers arrive around 10 am. This takes place one morning while checking out a customer.)

Me: “Alright, do you have a loyalty card with us toda—”

(Suddenly, an elderly lady decides to come around my check-lane and interrupts my conversation with the customer.)

Elderly Lady: “Excuse me, is there anyone that can check me out? I need to do this quickly as possible.”

(She proceeds to go to the next check lane. Again, I am the only cashier currently there; plus, I’m currently helping someone else. And the kicker, our cash registers only let us log into one cash register when we are working. And yes, we do have self-checkout.)

Me: “Umm, I’m sorry but I am the only cashier here at the moment.”

(The elderly lady quickly takes her only item, a box of strawberries, and heads to the self checkout.)

Customer: “Should have done that from the beginning…”

(My thoughts exactly.)

Well, They Have To Teach It Somewhere

, , , , , | Working | March 12, 2018

(I’m driving down to Tennessee to view the 2017 solar eclipse, and I’ve stopped at a hotel in Louisville for the night. When I go to check out, the computer is taking a while to print my receipt, so the clerk is chatting with me while we wait.)

Clerk: “So, where are you from?”

Me: “Lancaster, Pennsylvania.”

Clerk: “Oh, okay. Isn’t there a college there?”

Me: “Yes. F and M.”

Clerk: “S and M?”

Me: *internally giggling* F and M. Franklin and Marshall.”

Clerk: “Oh, yeah. That’s it!”

(I don’t know if he even realized what he had said, but I certainly did!)

A Picture Of Bad Parenting

, , , , , | Right | March 8, 2018

(I go into the store to pick up some photo prints I ordered online. Unfortunately, before I can get to the counter another customer beats me to the unmanned counter. As she approaches she immediately begins yelling.)

Customer: “CAN SOMEONE COME OVER HERE AND HELP ME?!”

(An employee approaches the counter.)

Customer: “I ordered these prints online; I need them.”

Employee: “Okay, what name are they under?”

Customer: “I don’t know; I don’t know if they made it.”

Employee: “You don’t know?”

Customer: “I used this app and it won’t send. You need to just do it.”

Employee: “I’m sorry. We aren’t allowed to—”

Customer: *sighs dramatically* “Well, what am I supposed to do?”

Employee: “You need to click on—”

Customer: “I already did that.”

Employee: “Well, try it again.”

Customer: “There, see? Now what?!”

Employee: “So, now, you need to—”

Customer: “This is stupid! I’m just going to go back to the main menu. So, what do I do from here?”

(The employee attempts several times to guide the customer through the process, and she continues to cut her off and ignore her suggestions. The customer appears to be in a huge hurry, and is obviously aggravated. Finally, after a few minutes.)

Customer: *about the app* “This is a joke. This is a total joke. Fine. Whatever. We’ll do this on Facebook.” *she takes a few minutes to find the picture she wants, all the while muttering* “I left those kids at the park. I left those d*** kids at the park… There, this picture. Can I just crop everyone out except this one person?”

Employee: “Well, what that will do is it will still be the same size and—”

Customer: “Is there any other way we can do this?!”

Employee: “You can hook your phone up to the photo kiosk, but it will download all of your photos.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I can’t get this Internet to work. My man is going to kill me; I left those d*** kids at the park.”

Employee: “We don’t get a good connection in the store.”

Customer: “I HAVE WI-FI.”

Employee: “We don’t have Wi-Fi here.”

Customer: “YOU MEAN I’M GOING TO HAVE TO GO OUT TO MY CAR TO GET ON THE INTERNET?!”

Employee: “You probably would have better luck in the back of the parking lot, yes.”

Customer: *stomps out while muttering* “I left those kids at the park.”

(I still can’t understand what could possibly be so important about this picture that she had to leave her children at the park to go get it!)

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