Not So Tender About The Chicken

, , , , , | | Working | May 28, 2019

(I’m getting lunch at a sandwich shop on my way home from work. It’s a little busy and I’m behind a group of four construction workers. The server is chatting up and flirting with one of the construction workers. When she’s done putting the meat on the bread for him, it’s my turn and she instantly goes from smiling to having a nasty look on her face.)

Server #1: “What do you want?”

Me: “Hi. I’d like an oven-roasted chicken chopped salad, please.”

(The server sighs and rolls her eyes. She says nothing, puts the chicken in the microwave, and passes the salad bowl down the line, saying nothing else to me. After the construction workers get past the topping section and move on to paying, it’s my turn for the next server.)

Server #2: “Hi. Um… what type of salad was this?”

Me: “It’s a—“

Server #1: *cutting me off* “He got a veggie-only salad, nothing else.”

Me: “No, the chicken is still in the microwave. I had an oven-roasted chicken chopped salad.”

Server #2: *smiles and grabs the chicken out of the microwave*

(Then, I give the remaining toppings I want to [Server #2], one at a time. As I’m about to pay:)

Server #1: *with a loud and snotty attitude* “How was I supposed to know you had chicken for your salad?!”

Me: “Because you put it in the microwave?”

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Not So Tender About The Chicken

Desensitized To Violence

, , , , , , | Learning | February 25, 2019

(I’m taking a class on the history of animation. One of our assignments is to go to the library where there is a video reserved for the class to watch in our off time, featuring various old theatrical cartoons that were banned from television for various reasons, mostly due to being politically incorrect. After this, we have to write a paper on it. On the day that the assignment is due, we end up having an in-class discussion on the cartoons that we saw. One cartoon, in particular, looks like it came out either in the late 1920s or early 30s, and everyone keeps talking about the beginning that had a rather blatant Jewish stereotype.)

Me: “Wait a minute. So, we’re discussing a cartoon that ended with piles of dead bodies, many of which were dismembered, and there was even an on-screen decapitation, but the part everyone here is hung up on is the Jewish stereotype that was on screen for about three seconds?”

Rebuyer’s Remorse

, , , , , | Right | December 8, 2018

Customer: “I have a coupon, and I’d like to get a price adjustment for my blanket and pillow I already purchased, please!”

Me: “Sure! Just let me okay it with the manager, first!” *since it’s slow, the manager on duty comes up to the register to observe* “Well, since you purchased this a month ago, it’s outside the window for a price adjustment.”

Customer: “Can’t I just return it and rebuy it?”

Me: “Sure, then you can use your coupon!”

(We go through the return for what she originally paid, and I repurchase the items. Since these were bought on an old sale, the items returned to regular price and ring up for those amounts.)

Me: “Okay, now I’ll enter the coupon code.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s different from what I paid before.”

Me: “That’s because they’re no longer on sale.”

Customer: “Oh, okay, then.”

(She gives me her coupon and I scan it. She pays the difference and goes on her way with her items. She ends up paying at least ten dollars more than she originally purchased them for!)

Manager: “Did that really just happen?”

The Nightmare Customer Before Halloween

, , , , , | Right | October 30, 2018

(The shopping center my store is located in is doing a special Halloween event for children where they can go trick-or-treating in the different stores. I am manning the bowl of candy, which my manager has taped a sign to asking customers to please leave the candy for the children. An older customer has come up to me.)

Customer: “Oh, candy!” *she reaches in to grab a piece*

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, ma’am, but would you mind leaving it for the children? We’re running low ,and the event’s supposed to last another couple hours.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s all right. I’m just going to look around for a bit.”

(She moves away, and I turn back to giving out candy to a group of children who’ve just entered. A few minutes later, I hear a rustling sound behind me and turn to find the customer from before reaching in and grabbing a huge handful of candy.)

Me: “Ma’am, could you put that back, please?”

Customer: “No!” *smiles, shoves the candy into her bag, and leaves*

Me: *speechless*

 

Bounce Them Right On Out Of There

, , , , | Right | October 27, 2018

(I work at a fairly high-end home furnishings chain. A woman comes into the store and I go to greet her.)

Customer: “Hi. I was wondering if you would replace a chair I bought here. I got it home, and two weeks later, it broke.”

Me: “All right, which chair was it?”

(She describes a popular chair style, which is made of highly durable reeds, loosely woven into the bowl-shaped seat.)

Customer: “Yeah, my kids were jumping on it, and then it broke.”

Me: “…”

(Here’s a tip: if you want the store to replace your expensive chair, maybe don’t let slip that it only broke when your children were using it as a trampoline.)

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