14 Hilarious Stories About Some People’s Strange Relationship With Tolkien
Dear readers,
“In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.”
And with those words, J.R.R. Tolkien created the foundation for the fantasy genre that we appreciate today. Today is Tolkien Reading Day – a day where all are encouraged to read the words of the master, or anything inspired by him that transports the reader to wonderful and fantastical worlds.
If you don’t have time to read a lengthy fantasy novel, why not start with these fourteen stories from our archives about some people’s strange relationship with Tolkien and his works? Have a read when it’s time for elevensies!
Best Not To Be Tolkien Too Seriously – Real life, fortunately, features far fewer Orcs.
Like Tolkien To A Brick Deeping Wall – Um… Tolkien was a Catholic. Like… a devout Catholic.
(Math) Exercise, Dividers Of Theoden – Call me a nerd, but I just got the chills.
You Shall Not Pass My Firewall – If I was that caller, I’d be stoked to hear that story.
Not A Hobbitual Reader – I think you’re thinking of Sindarin.
Books Can Run Rings Around Movies – I’d say I didn’t just literally face-palm, but that would be a lie.
Like Tolkien To A Brick Deeping Wall, Part 2 – Just don’t ask her to read the books aloud. “Naur an edraith ammen! Naur dan i ngaurhoth!” would be a nightmare.
Failed The Geek Test – We implore you to check the comments on this one for some delightful punnery.
The One One Ring – Yep, and this necklace I have is the real Evenstar.
The Ring Doesn’t Rule Them All – When is a noob not a noob?
Keeping Her Secret, Keeping Her Safe – Gellon ned i galar i chent gîn ned i gladhog.
The Return Of The King-sized Portions – As a kid, I always wanted to be like the elves. I definitely grew up to be a hobbit.
Well, Wales DOES Have Dragons – “The language is that of Mordor, which I will not utter here.”
Harry Potter And The Chamber Of The Kessel Run – *Sigh*
We hope you enjoyed this Tolkien-themed roundup! Want to send in your own story? Submit your story here!
Some other roundups to check out if you liked this one:
14 Wild Cosplay Stories That Prove Cosplayers Are Awesome
Question of the Week
What is the most stupid reason a customer has asked to see your manager?
