(I’m in a senior-level engineering course and our professor used to work for NASA. This can lead to some fun anecdotes during class.)

Professor: “Because the ends have such a small surface area, you can neglect them in your calculations.”

Student:“What would NASA do?”

Professor: *without missing a beat* “They’d probably use the wrong units and crash into Mars.”

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(A friend of my teacher sits in on a class due to his specialty in the topic.)

Teacher: “Oh, [Friend], have I introduced you to the TA yet? This is Ms. [TA].”

(As soon as he finishes saying her name, applause as if from a talk show appears from seemingly nowhere. The class laughs.)

Student: “Sorry, that was my phone going off.”

Teacher: *laughing* “That’s fine! It was perfect timing anyway!”

(One of the last things at my college orientation is all of the new freshmen in the main auditorium going over some of the basic tips and rules of college life. They are tossing in open questions randomly into the seminar and the students with the best answers get a school-themed survival kit for free (hoodie, blanket, water bottle, license plate frame, etc.). One of the last parts of the seminar is about how big the campus is and how many people can be in a single class.)

Facilitator: “Who in the audience had the smallest high school graduating class?”

(People started answering around the room when they got called:)

Student #1: “850 graduates.”

Student #2: “544 graduates.”

Student #3: “203 graduates.”

(The answers did get smaller and smaller. I am one of the last called on giving my answer.)

Me: “11 graduates.”

Facilitator: “I don’t believe it! How big was your school?”

Me: “The high school had about 40 people while K-12 was about 100.”

(One more person kept their hand up after my answer, stating that he was from Alaska and his school was the kids from a far North town where he was the only one to graduate since the K-12 was only 15 people. Because of both of our answers being so drastically smaller than the others, we both got the kits and I made my first college friend!)

Patron: “Do you know where our daughter is?”

(Keep in mind we have 50,000 students and the library doesn’t require signing in. It’s also Finals Week when we’re incredibly crowded and we’re one of the largest buildings on campus.)

Me: *boggle*

Patron: “She came in this morning.”

Me: “Well, she could be in one of the computer labs which are located that way.”

Patron: “No, she’s not using a computer.”

Me: “Then she could be in the study carrels or group study rooms or possibly in the work areas on any of the public floors.”

Patron: “We’ll just text her.”

(I take the bus to work, which means walking halfway across the campus. I’m used to the walk, but it’s annoying during our 115°F (46°C) summers. My coworkers are aware of the situation, and one of them notices me come in.)

Coworker #1: “Oh, wow, your face is red. You should rest and drink some water before you clock in.”

Me: “I actually stopped by the water fountain in the hallway, so I’m hydrated. Honestly, I’m not that hot.”

(My coworker is then called away. Coworker #2, having heard the tail end of the conversation, comes up to me.)

Coworker #2: “You shouldn’t think like that.”

Me: *thinking I heard him wrong* “What?”

Coworker #2: “You should be confident. You know, think of yourself as gorgeous.”

Me: “Wha- Oh! No, no, wrong kind of hot! We were talking about ‘heat’ hot.”

Coworker #2: “Oh.”

(He turns to walk away, and then briefly turns back.)

Coworker #2: “Don’t tell anyone I said that.”