(I work for a website where you are able to book hotels at lower costs. This customer isn’t happy with their stay, and requests a refund.)

Me: “So, the hotel has approved a $50 refund. We usually process that in the form of a credit to be used on our website. It will be available in a few minutes.”

Customer: “So, I can use that on any purchase within the next few minutes?”

Me: “Of course. Let me just finish with the processing of it. You’ll get an email confirmation.”

Customer: “Can I use it on Amazon?”

Me: “No, sir. This is like an in-store credit, but online. It can be used for anything purchased on our website.”

Customer: “What about on EBay?”

(I wish this was the worst thing said to me today.)

(I work in a call center selling credit cards over the phone. I get a call one day from a woman who sounds like she is surrounded by children.)

Me: “…and what is—”

Caller: *to kids in the background* “Hey! Quiet down back there! Don’t make me get the rolling pin!”

(I think to myself: Oh, my! Well, they are her children, not mine, so I’ll ignore it.)

Caller: “You were saying?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, what is your occupation?”

Caller: “Oh! I work for a daycare center.”

(I work at a company that owns a whale watching business. Whale watching season is generally between May and November every year, when the whales pass the Sydney coastline going up to Queensland to give birth and then when they go back down to Antarctica. Sometimes (very rarely) one or two whales decide to make a pit-stop in Sydney Harbour before continuing on their way.)

Me: *phone rings* “Good afternoon, [Company].”

Customer: “What time do the whales come into the Harbour?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “What time do the whales come into the Harbour?”

Me: “I do apologise but I can’t tell you what time the whales will be in the Harbour. However, if you would like to join one of our whale watching cruises—”

Customer: “What do you mean you can’t tell me what time they’ll be in the Harbour? There was one in there yesterday!”

Me: “Yes, I know. It was very exciting. However, that whale has moved on now and I can’t guarantee when the next one will come into the Harbour.”

Customer: “Aren’t you a whale watching company?”

Me: “Yes, we operate three kinds of tours—”

Customer: “So why can’t you tell me what time the whales will be in the f***ing Harbour?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but whales are wild animals and we can’t control—”

Customer: “What do you mean they’re ‘wild animals’?!”

Me: “…They live in the wild. They are wild animals. We are an Eco-tour that watches whales in their natural habitat… in the wild…”

Customer: “This is bull-s***. I knew we should have gone to Sea World!” *click*

(I am working at a customer support center for a popular online video game.)

Me: “Hello, support.”

Caller: “Hi, my son can’t get into his account.”

(I verify her information and pull up the account.)

Me: “Ma’am, it seems you son’s account was suspended because he violated community guidelines.”

Caller: “What does that mean?”

(I get the report open and my jaw drops. He was reported for harassment. Gamers are infamous trash-mouths, but this one of the disgusting guys who harassed our female players. And I have his mother on the line.)

Me: “It looks like your son was reported for harassing another player. Do you know if he was using his account last Saturday?”

Caller: “Oh, yes, that was him. What did he do? Did he swear?”

Me: “Among other things. Do you have an email address that I can send a copy of our suspension notice and transcript of the event in question?”

(She gives me her email and keeps talking while I type and send.)

Caller:  “I don’t see how you can ban him for a little swearing? I read the rating; don’t the characters swear? What did he say that was so bad?”

Me: “I am not comfortable repeating it. Did you get the email?”

Caller: “Yes, I—”

(She goes very quiet.)

Me: “Ma’am?”

Caller: *she talks in that deadly, angry-mother tone*“Thank you for informing me of this. Unfortunately I will need to cancel his account.”

Me: “I will go ahead and do that for you. Can I help you with anything else today?”

Caller: “No, thank you. I have to go talk to my son now.”

(I didn’t stop grinning all day long, knowing at least one online harasser met justice.)

(I’m a FTM transgender, but have not begun transition, so although I’m frequently called “sir” in person based on my looks, my voice is a dead giveaway – especially at a call center job.)

Me: “Hello, I’m calling on behalf of [Company] regarding the power bill. May I speak with [Name]?”

Man: “Are you wearing any paaaaantieees?”

Me: “…Excuse me, sir?”

Man: “I like women who don’t wear paaaaaantieeees!”

Me: “Sir, I’m a man, and I’m calling to save you money on your power bill.”

Man: “No, you’re not! You’re a WOMAN and I like women who don’t wear PAAAAANTIEEEEES!”

Me: “So you’ve said, sir, but I’m a transgender man. Would you like to save money on your power bill or not?”

(At this apparently horrific revelation, the customer hangs up on ME, and I pause the dialer to do a victory dance at my desk.)

This story is part of the Transgender-themed roundup!

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