(This is a number of years ago at a popular store call centre at Christmas time. I was in high school trying to make money for gas.)

Me: “Happy Holidays and thank you for choosing [Store]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Well, I ordered a fridge from you a few weeks ago and they said it would be here by Christmas, but it’s not here yet.”

Me: “Okay, do you have your [Store] card on you?”

(I look her information up and confirm the security details.)

Me: “Okay, it says here that your order has been back-ordered, and unfortunately may not arrive in time for Christmas.”

Customer: “What? It has to be here for Christmas. When I ordered it the person PROMISED me it would be here by Christmas.”

Me: “Well, let me double check some things here, make sure there isn’t anything missed.” *I go through different paths coming to the same conclusion* “Unfortunately, the fridge may not arrive until the New Year. Apparently it’s a very popular model.”

Customer: “Well, that doesn’t help me! You guys PROMISED me it would be here!”

Me: “And it will be, but unfortunately—”

Customer: “No! You PROMISED it would be here, so what are you going to do to fix this?!”

Me: “I— uh, well, the only solution I can think of is you could try reordering it and return one when they both arrive for a full refund, bringing you back to as if you’d only bought one.”

Customer: “You think that would work?”

Me: “It could. I’m not making any promises, but it says here if you order this today it would get there just after Christmas. It’s not perfect, but it’s not the New Year, either.”

Customer: “Okay, well, do that then.”

Me: “Okay, so you’ll order another fridge and send one back when the other one arrives?”

Customer: “Yes, that will do.”

Me: “Okay, can I get your [credit card number] again?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “No, if I give you number you’re just going to charge it again.”

Me: “Yes, we have to charge the card to order a new fridge for you. We can’t send one to you for free.”

Customer: “Well, that’s what you said!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we cannot send you a free fridge on faith that you’ll send one back.”

Customer: “Well that’s just wonderful, isn’t it?! First you won’t send me the fridge YOU PROMISED would get here BY CHRISTMAS, then you want to charge me A SECOND TIME for the fridge YOU STILL WON’T SEND ME! Never mind, I guess I’ll just have to wait until AFTER Christmas and ruin it for them then. Thanks a lot!” *click*

(I work in the call centre for a national supermarket. It’s six pm on Christmas Eve. It’s beyond busy. A customer calls to say that he collected his order from store, only he just noticed that the games console package is missing its games.)

Me: “I’m so sorry, sir. Give me a moment; I’ll call the store to see if it’s been left behind.”

(I put the customer on hold and speak to a female staff member on the front desk.)

Me: “Hi there, a customer’s missing part of his order. Could you go check it for me, please?”

Store Colleague: “Sure! Be right back.”

(I wait and try to get this increasingly irate customer to calm down.)

Store Colleague: “I can’t find it out back. It’s being shipped separately. What can I do to help this customer?”

(I’m stunned. This is the first helpful person I’ve spoken to all day.)

Me: “Uh, could you go get them off the shelf, if you’ve got any left? And then replace it with the shipped one when it gets there?”

Store Colleague: “Sure! Oh, bother, there’s only one of the two. Never mind, just tell him to ask for [Store Colleague] and I’ll get it fixed.”

Me: “Thanks!” *to customer* “Hello, sir, sorry about the wait. It looks like it’s being sent separately, so we’ve managed to pull one game off the shelf for you. I know it’s not much…”

Customer: “Are you kidding?! You’ve just saved my a**! If the wife found out I left it this late to get the presents, she’d kill me! Thank you so much!”

(Some months later, I happen to be in the store in question whilst on holiday. I notice the name badge on the girl at the desk and remember her. I thanked her and bought her some flowers. Even though we work for the same company, she was the only member of store staff that Christmas Eve who actually helped me out, and restored my faith in humanity.)

(I work for a major telecommunications company that operates in Atlantic Canada as a customer service rep. A customer calls in and has a password on the account for verification (Instead of using D.O.B.))

Me: *after going through introductions, name and account number* “Thank you and for security purposes, can you confirm the password on the account?”

Customer: “Is it this?”

Me: “That isn’t the correct password on file.”

Customer: “Is it password?”

Me: “Unfortunately that is still incorrect.”

Customer: “I forget it.”

Me: “Well, we can’t go over any information unless you verify the password.”

Customer: “But I have a million passwords.”

Me: “Unfortunately, since I can’t verify you, you must go to a retail store location with photo ID and we can change or remove the password.”

Customer: “WHY SHOULD I USE TIME OUT OF MY DAY TO FIX YOUR PROBLEM?!”

Me: “Well, you chose the password and also chose not to add a hint. Policy states if you can’t verify yourself on your account you must prove you are who you say you are in store with picture ID.”

Customer: “YOU GUYS ARE CROOKS HIDING MY ACCOUNT INFORMATION FROM ME! I’M GOING TO [COMPETITOR COMPANY]!” *click*

Coworker: “Umm… did she seriously say she would disconnect because she didn’t know her own password?”

Related:
The Final Word On Passwords, Part 2
The Final Word On Passwords

(I work in the DMV phone room. A customer calls regarding a form she wants to fill out so she can get a duplicate copy of her registration certificate and decal. One of the lines on the form has blank spaces for the vehicle’s “Make”, “Model”, and “Body Type”, such as LS, LX, SE, Sport, etc. )

Customer: “I didn’t know what to put in the space for “Body Type.” I was tempted to write, ‘Curvy.'”

(I wish I had more customers like that!)

(When I first got this job at the call center, I found out I’d be working for a bank. As employees, we get a few special benefits, like discounts on accounts opened with the bank, BUT, we are not allowed to even so much as look at our information (legal issues). To see what and when my direct deposit will be in my new account, I have to call customer service.)

Rep: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. This is [Rep]. How can I assist you today?”

Me: “Yeah, this is [Full Name], and I need to see when my direct deposit will go into my account, and how much it is going to be.”

(They take my account number and security details, before there is a long awkward pause.)

Rep: “Ma’am, I can’t seem to find where your direct deposit would be listed? I don’t think you can see it until it’s posted to your account.”

(I sit there, dumbfounded. I had learned how to do this simple look up during my first week of training.)

Me: “Sir, how long have you been working here?”

Rep: “Six months, ma’am.”

Me: “Okay, wow… Do you know what [Database] is?”

Rep: “Oh, yeah, of course! How do you know what that is?”

Me: “I work for the San Antonio center. Okay, I’m gonna walk you through this.” *I take them through the instructions* “Then tell me the amount on it, and the deposit date. Okay?”

Rep: “Okay, done. You will get [amount] on [Date] deposited into [account].”

Me: “Excellent, thank you.”

Rep: “Thank you, miss, and I do have one more question for you.”

Me: “Yeah?”

Rep: “If you knew how to do it, why didn’t you just look it up yourself?”

Me: “Oh, my f****** god. Bye!” *click*