The Mother Knows Her Call Of Duty

(I am working at a customer support center for a popular online video game.)

Me: “Hello, support.”

Caller: “Hi, my son can’t get into his account.”

(I verify her information and pull up the account.)

Me: “Ma’am, it seems you son’s account was suspended because he violated community guidelines.”

Caller: “What does that mean?”

(I get the report open and my jaw drops. He was reported for harassment. Gamers are infamous trash-mouths, but this one of the disgusting guys who harassed our female players. And I have his mother on the line.)

Me: “It looks like your son was reported for harassing another player. Do you know if he was using his account last Saturday?”

Caller: “Oh, yes, that was him. What did he do? Did he swear?”

Me: “Among other things. Do you have an email address that I can send a copy of our suspension notice and transcript of the event in question?”

(She gives me her email and keeps talking while I type and send.)

Caller:  “I don’t see how you can ban him for a little swearing? I read the rating; don’t the characters swear? What did he say that was so bad?”

Me: “I am not comfortable repeating it. Did you get the email?”

Caller: “Yes, I—”

(She goes very quiet.)

Me: “Ma’am?”

Caller: *she talks in that deadly, angry-mother tone*“Thank you for informing me of this. Unfortunately I will need to cancel his account.”

Me: “I will go ahead and do that for you. Can I help you with anything else today?”

Caller: “No, thank you. I have to go talk to my son now.”

(I didn’t stop grinning all day long, knowing at least one online harasser met justice.)