(A customer with rather large breasts approaches me.)

Customer: “Excuse me; can you help me please?”

Me: “Of course, ma’am. What can I help you find today?”

Customer: “I’m looking for books about plastic surgery.”

Me: “Ah, I see. Well, let’s just look on the computer and see what we can come up with. Do you have a particular area you’re interested in reading about?”

Customer: “I bet you can’t guess!”

Me: “I wouldn’t want to be forward!”

Customer: “Well, breast reduction surgery, then. Shy, aren’t you?”

Me: “Just a little, yes. Let’s see what I can find.”

Customer: “I’m always having back problems! These are just too big; I want to see if I can get them smaller.”

Me: “It’s probably best to check with a doctor first, but maybe we can find something that will help you know what questions to ask.”

Customer: “Well, don’t you agree they’re too big?”

Me: “Er, again, I wouldn’t like to be forward.”

Customer: “Oh, come on. You can touch them and see how big they are for yourself!”

Me: “WHAT!”

Customer: “C’mon, touch ’em!”

(The customer reaches for my wrist.)

Me: “No, that’s okay!”

Customer: “TOUCH MY PUPPIES!”

Me: “Let me see if I can find someone more experienced with this.”

Customer: “Why won’t shy guys touch my breasts!?”

(I’m a temp at a bookstore at the local university with less than a week until classes start.)

Me: “Thank you for calling the text department; how may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, do I have to be with my son when he picks up his textbooks?”

Me: “No, ma’am. If he ordered them online, he can pick them up at—”

Caller: “No, he hasn’t ordered them yet.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, if he has his class schedule, he can come in to the bookstore to get his books.”

Caller: “Are they ready for him?”

Me: “…excuse me?”

Caller: “Isn’t that what you do? You get all the students’ book lists and put their books together for them!”

Me: “No, ma’am. We’re just here to help if the student needs help.”

Caller: “So now I have to come in and get my son’s books?!”

Me: “No, ma’am. He can get his own—”

Caller: “You are a GROSS WASTE of my time!”

(I overhear a mom talking to her young boy while browsing in a bookstore.)

Mom: “Okay [Name], we will go here in a minute.”

Boy: “I have to go NOW!”

Mom: “What do we say when we want something?”

Boy: “Mom, can you PLEASE take me to the bathroom?”

Mom: “Sure.”

(About five minutes pass…)

Boy: “Thanks for taking me to the bathroom, Mom. I feel much better!”

Mom: “You’re welcome.”

Boy: “Oh, hey Mom?”

Mom: “Yes?”

Boy: “Thanks for wiping my a** in there too!”

(I am a male, waiting for my boyfriend at a book shop, and use the time to strike up a conversation with two other patrons. At some point in the conversation, we mock Justin Bieber, and one of them calls him ‘gay.’)

Me: “You do realise I’m here waiting for my boyfriend, right?”

(They laugh nervously in embarrassment. I decide to alleviate the tension.)

Me: “And Justin Bieber is not gay! He’s dating Selena Gomez. If anything, he’s a lesbian.”

(I am helping a customer with a return. Due to past misuses of the system, our registers are set to only do returns in the original payment method, or as a store gift card.)

Me: “Alright, ma’am, this was done as debit. I can either put it on a gift card, or back onto the same card, if you have it on you.”

Customer: “What? Debit’s the same as cash! Why can’t I get cash?”

Me: “I apologize, but that’s our policy. We can only do it in the method it was originally done, or store credit.”

Customer: “Well that’s just wrong. Debit is the same as cash! Everywhere!”

Me: “I understand, and I am sorry, but these are the only options I’m allowed.”

Customer: *handing me her card* “Well fine, put it back on the card.”

Me: *as I slide the card* “It may take one or two business days to show back up. Here’s your copy of the return, and I hope you have a nice day.”

Customer: *reading her return receipt* “Hey! It says credit on here! I paid debit!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. The system has to credit it back to your card. It looks a little weird, but the money is going back.”

Customer: “If I use credit, I’ll be fined! My card doesn’t do credit! That first receipt said debit!”

Me: “Yes, the original purchase is definitely debit. Ma’am, it’s not charging your card; it’s crediting money back. I don’t know your particular bank, but there’s never been an issue—”

Customer: “What is your name? If there’s a problem, I want to know. And give me that original receipt back. It says debit.”

Me: “I’m [Name]. Give me just a second to copy some info off this receipt onto the return, and you’ll have it right back.”

(At this point, the customer is fed up, and leaves without waiting for her original receipt. I staple it to the return, and turn to help the next customer. Several days later, the same customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Hi. I was in here a couple of days ago, and you were helping me with a return. I… just wanted to apologize for the way I treated you. I was having a bad day, and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

Me: “Oh! Thank you! I take it the return processed as it should?”

Customer: “Yes. But even if it hadn’t, there’s no excuse for the way I was acting.”

Me: “Well, thank you. Everyone has a bad day now and then.”

(Her making a point to return and say sorry was such a pleasant surprise; it improved the whole rest of my shift.)

Related:
To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 3
To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 2
To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due