Someone Stole This Substitute’s Sanity!

We are in class and we have a substitute teacher. He introduces himself and then goes to look for the assignment but can’t find it.

Substitute: “Where is the assignment for the class?”

Student #1: “How would we know?”

Substitute: “I think one of you stole it.”

Student #2: “You probably just lost it or [Regular Teacher] forgot to leave it for you.”

Substitute: “If none of you admit to stealing the assignment, I’m calling the police.”

Nobody admits to stealing it because nobody did.

Substitute: “I’m calling the cops.”

The substitute gets on the phone in the classroom and dials a number, presumably 911.

Substitute: “Yeah, hello, I’m at [High School] and the students stole the assignment.” *Pause* “Yeah, I’m serious.” *Pause* “Yes, I want you to send someone to arrest them all.” *Pause* “Okay, great.” *Hangs up*

A few minutes later, the police officer who works in the school shows up.

Police Officer: “You called?”

Substitute: “Yeah, this class stole the assignment. I want you to arrest them all.”

Police Officer: “Did any of you steal the assignment?”

Class: “No.”

The police officer walks by our desks just to make sure we didn’t steal it, not that there would be anywhere to hide it since the “desks” are just tables with no place to hide the assignment.

Police Officer: “No, nobody stole it.”

Substitute: “Yeah, they did.”

Police Officer: “No, they didn’t.” *Walks out*

Substitute: “Don’t think you’re getting away with this. I’m telling [Regular Teacher]!”

The next day, our regular teacher said the sub left a very angry note that the class was so bad he had to call the police, but thankfully, she knew us better than that and thought it was ridiculous, as well.