A Sickening Amount Of Competition

(I know someone who seems to think that any illnesses are like a competition. She’s rung me and I’ve croakingly answered the phone.)

Friend: “Oh, my God, [My Name], what is wrong with your voice?”

Me: “I’ve been sick all weekend.”

Friend: “Oh, no. Does it help that I’ve got a bad back today?”

(WTF? Does it help? No, I’m not in some sort of competition. She does this all the time.)