She’s A Different Kind Of Calendar Girl

(I work for a personal injury attorney. My job mainly involves handling irate clients and keeping track of problems with clients, so I describe myself as a trouble-shooting receptionist.)

Boss: *at 8:30* “I need you to focus on clearing [Paralegal]’s calendar today since she’s out sick with the flu.”

Me: “Yes, sir. I can certainly attempt to do that.” 

Boss: *at 10:30* “Why are you calling [Client]?”

Me: “Because it was on [Paralegal]’s calendar?”

Boss: “I don’t pay you to do [Paralegal]’s job! I missed two telephone conferences because you didn’t call them!”

Me: “But… you told me to clear her calendar!”

Boss: “You should have known I had these conferences!”

Me: “I didn’t even pull up your calendar today!”

Boss: “Well, you should always have my calendar up!”

Boss’ Partner: *overheard through phone* “God d*** it, [Boss], you told her to clear [Paralegal]’s calendar! Dial your own calls for once!”