Secret Aaaaagent Brand!

I was helping a client create a brand identity for a new company. I thought that this meant designing a logo, a corporate identity, and also some matching promotional materials. The client’s idea of what I would be doing wasn’t quite so clear.

Client: “I need a company logo that I could apply to all my stationery, websites, email — everything. But I need you to be discreet; this information is highly confidential.”

Me: “No problem. Maybe we can meet up to chat about what exactly you want your logo to express, what the business is about, etc.”

Client: “My company stands for simplicity, information availability, and transparency. I hope this helps.”

Me: “What exactly does your company do?”

Client: “I’m not sure why you need more information. This company will become successful worldwide, but it’s confidential at the moment.”

Me: “Fine. What is the company called?”

Client: “I was hoping you could help me with that.”

He then sent me a long list of possible names that were mostly just his name and his wife’s name awkwardly smashed into one word.

Me: “I’m not sure if I can help you with the name; that wasn’t really what we discussed and wasn’t included in the price I quoted you.”

Client: “You don’t understand! This company will be really successful. We’ll be sure to repay you for any help you give us getting started.”

Me: “You need to tell me what you actually do in order for me to craft a brand identity for you. If I don’t know what your company does, and if it doesn’t even have a name, I can’t create a brand for you.”

Client: “That’s top secret.”

I stopped writing back after that. Who knows? Maybe he thinks I’m still working for him and I’m just being “top secret.”