(While standing in line at a sandwich shop, I overhear two women talking about one of them getting a new iPad.)

Woman #1: “Yeah, I got a new iPad. I got black this time because I usually always go with white.”

Woman #2: “Ew, white is so much better than black. You should have gotten the white.”

Woman #1: “No, I wanted to match the case I got it.”

Woman #2: “Don’t you have bad eyes?”

Woman #1: “Yeah?”

Woman #2: “Well you should have gotten the white, not the black. Now you are not going to be able to see on it.”

Woman #1: “When I say it’s black, I was referring to the casing it’s in, not the screen.”

Woman #2: “Oh!”

(During a change of shifts we are required to count the till. Unfortunately, there is a major technical problem with it at the end of my shift. As my coworker and I try to resolve the issue, a customer walks in. In front of us is a huge mess of receipts and an empty register drawer, while we ruffle our hair and write calculations down on pieces of paper. I’d consider it obvious that something is wrong.)

Me: “Hi, there. I’m terribly sorry, but the till is broken at the moment. Is there anything I can do for you that doesn’t require a transaction?”

Customer: *smiling understandingly* “Oh, I just need to pay for gas.”

(I look at the pump’s registry. The customer owes us €20 flat.)

Me: “Oh, now that’s convenient. That’s 20 exactly, so tell you what: If you have the proper amount on you and don’t need a receipt, you can just pay and be on your merry way while we try to sort this out. How does that sound?”

Customer: *still friendly* “Hmm, that’s a pity. I need a receipt.”

Me: “Well, I wouldn’t want you to wait longer than you really need to, so how about I write one by hand?”

Customer: “No, that won’t do. I don’t like those. I’d prefer one printed by a machine.”

Me: “All right… I’m very sorry, but in that case I will have to ask you to wait. If you change your mind, please don’t hesitate to tell us.”

(She nods and strolls around the store for a bit as my coworker and I finally try one last thing – successfully. At least I can log on again. At this point, the customer has been waiting for about 2-3 minutes, tops. I put in the empty drawer and flash the biggest smile I can muster.)

Me: “Again, I apologize for the delay, but at least we can take care of you now. Okay, that’ll be €20 exactly, please.”

(As I say this, the customer slams the money down on the counter and gives me a death glare.)

Customer: “Ridiculous! You should be ashamed, keeping me waiting like this! This was the worst service I have ever gotten!”

(She curses under her breath as she leaves. Without her receipt.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I’ve been with no TV since this morning. I want to know what the f*** is happening with your service!”

Me: “I really apologize about this issue, sir. I will be more than happy to help you by troubleshooting your system. Would you please verify if your TV is connected to the source?”

Customer: “Do you think I am stupid? I would not be calling if the TV is disconnected and— never mind.”

(The customer hung up. No further explanations.)

Me: “[Client], your bankruptcy has been discharged. Please come by the office to pick up the final paperwork.”

Client: “So all my debt is gone?”

Me: “Correct, sir.”

Client: “So, how long before I can get more credit cards?”

(It’s about closing time, and we have closed the shutters partly to make customers aware of this. The store is empty, and has been for a while. Some of my coworkers are already starting to pack up and I’m left waiting around the cash registry until it’s closing time. About two minutes before we close, a customer comes running up.)

Customer: “Can I still shop?”

Me: “We’re about to close in two minutes.”

Customer: “I know what I want! I’ll be quick; I know exactly where it is.”

(She grabs a basket and runs through the store to get her things. I get behind the registry to scan her items. When she comes up, it turns out it’s a lot of small items, about 20 different things.)

Me: “That really was quick!”

Customer: “Thank you! Oh, and they’re all presents. You wrap them, right?”

Me: “We can wrap, or I can give you enough paper to wrap them yourself at home.”

Customer: “You do it. I can’t wrap nicely.”

(It is now a few minutes past closing, and it’s a lot of small items to wrap. I call for extra assistance.)

Coworker: “Did you just call for assistance? Why?”

Me: *nodding towards the pile of goods and wrapping as fast as I can* “These are all presents.”

Coworker: “… All of them?”

Me: “Yep.”

Coworker: “Call for more assistance.”

(We wrapped everything with the three of us, and the customer made us re-wrap some things, too, if they weren’t done well enough to her satisfaction!)