(I work as an attendant at a coin-op laundromat. It’s open 24 hours, but we only have staff inside from about 9 am – 4 pm most days. One of the services we offer is a drop-off laundry service where customers who do not want to wait around can drop off their laundry, and we will wash, dry and fold it for them for an extra charge. However, because staff is only on-hand until 4 pm, our policy is that any laundry that is dropped off after 2 pm will be done the next morning and be ready by noon. One day, it’s 4 pm and I’ve just locked up the office for the day, when suddenly a car screams into the lot and a young woman rushes out, carrying several huge canvas bags full of laundry.)

Customer: *exasperated and out of breath* “Wait! Don’t close! I need you to do this laundry!”

Me: “Okay.”

(I re-open the office and begin to prepare a drop-off slip, assuming she wants me to do it the next day.)

Customer: *dropping laundry in front of me* “I need this done within an hour.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. That’s going to be impossible today.”

Customer: *shocked* “What? But I need this done in an hour!”

Me: “I’m really sorry, but our office closed at 4. Any laundry dropped off after 2 has to be done the next day, because it can take a long time to get certain orders done. And your order looks quite large, so there’s no way I could get it done within an hour, anyways.”

Customer: “Bull-s***! My washer and dryer at home could do all of this in a half hour!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’ll have to disagree. You have a huge load of laundry.  It’d probably take me two hours or so to wash, dry and fold everything there. If I may ask, why not just do the laundry in your machines if they’d supposedly get it done so much quicker?”

Customer: “You’re just lazy! You’re lazy! I don’t want to do my laundry. I want you to do it!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I already clocked out and the office closes at 4 pm. The policy is no orders after 2 pm can be done the same day. And I’m hardly lazy. I did a shift that was nearly 20 hours straight last week in order to work on a huge order from a local flood-zone. Then I came in for another 10 hours the next day to finish it.”

Customer: “So you’re lazy AND a liar!”

(The customer turns and storms off, inadvertently slipping on the floor and falling to her knees because she is stomping around haphazardly. She stands up, turns, and screams at me.)

Customer: “Your lazy a** isn’t leaving until you scrub this flood! I just slipped on it because your lazy a** won’t clean it! I’ll have you fired if you don’t fix this!”

(I had literally just mopped up about a half-hour earlier and gotten it very clean.)

Me: “Okay.”

(I mopped the floor a second time and put down a “Caution: Wet Floor” sign while she glared at me. She finally stormed out after unsuccessfully trying to get me to do her order again afterwards. I was finally able to leave an hour after closing. In that hour, she made no effort to do her own laundry, even though she needed it done ‘in an hour.’)

(We have a guideline on how much to put in one of our ice cream items for each size. I work as a server and I make drinks and ice cream throughout the day. I particularly remember putting more in this item then what is accustomed to.)

Customer: “Ma’am, what is this?!”

Me: “It is the [item] you ordered, ma’am.”

Customer: “Well there are absolutely no Oreos in this thing! It’s all vanilla ice cream!”

Me: “I’ll have someone out shortly, ma’am.”

(I fetch her treat myself and to my amazement see that she has ate half of it, and there are several chunks of Oreo inside of it. So instead of remaking it, I throw away the lid and spoon, and just remix the item.)

Me: “Here you go, ma’am. This should be more than enough Oreo.”

Customer: “There! Now why can’t you put this much in here all the time?!”

(I’m 18, and still go to the pediatrician since I’ve gone to them most of my life. My little sister and I are there for vaccinations, and the staff are very obviously used to little kids.)

Nurse: “Okay, kiddo, I need to give you a shot. Do you want me to count to three, or just go ahead and do it?”

Me: “Surprise me.”

Nurse: “All righty! One, two…” *gives me the shot* “…and three!”

(I work at a kebab store at a football stadium and have just put a sign up to let customers know we have no sour cream sauce left.)

Customer: “I will have sour cream for the sauce.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, we have no sour cream.” *points to the sign*

Customer: *picks up the sign and throws it behind him and jumps on it* “Now I’ll have extra sour cream.”

(A very popular family film has just opened, and a lot of parents are bringing in young children and babies. It’s causing a lot of problems, as the parents and children are leaving enormous messes in the theaters, including popcorn all over the floors, spilled drinks everywhere and even dirty diapers on the seats, which means the entire surrounding area must be sanitized for health reasons. As a result, most theaters aren’t clean enough to let other customers in until less than five minutes before the next scheduled show time. I’m working as an usher, tearing tickets and letting people into the theaters. I’m still waiting on the theater showing the family film to be clean enough to let people in. A huge family with about six young children, including a baby, is among the group waiting to be let in. Finally, I’m given the go-ahead to let people in. The father of the family confronts me as I tear his ticket.)

Father: “That took too long! I’m half-tempted to demand a refund!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but there have been a lot of young families leaving messes that need to be cleaned up. They just had to thoroughly sanitize half the theater, because several people left dirty diapers sitting on the seats.”

Father: “Wait… so you’ll clean up if I leave my son’s diaper in the theater?”

Me: *furious but trying to retain composure* “Please… don’t. I swear to god, don’t do it.”