Mess With The Cub, You Get The Papa Bear’s Claws

, , , , , , | Legal | April 25, 2021


When I’m fifteen, my family stays in a hotel for an extended time. This hotel has a few washers and dryers on site, which is very convenient for us. My father and I are unloading two dryers, mine on the bottom left and his on the top right. While I bend down to unload my dryer, I feel someone grab my backside.

I stand abruptly, turn, and find myself staring at a strange man. He grins at me, reaching out as if to grab me again. I slap his hands away.

Me: “Don’t touch me.”

Father: *Closing his dryer door* “I didn’t touch you.” *Seeing the other man* “Did you touch her?”

Man: *Stepping back* “No.”

Me: “He grabbed my butt.”

My father is the kind of person who catches spiders in the house and releases them outside, so I never thought he’d be the type of person to do what happens next. He grabs the other man by the back of his neck and slams his face into the dryer door hard enough that it leaves a small dent, before throwing him backward. The other man stumbles, stunned.

My father stays standing between us.

Father: “You should go now.”

Man: *Glaring* “A**hole.”

My father takes a step toward the man.

Father: “Leave.”

The man made a speedy exit. We stopped at the front desk and reported him. The police came and took our statements asking the usual — what was I wearing, what was I doing, did I engage with the man at all before he touched me? I noticed the officer wasn’t writing anything down as he asked, only looking at me with a raised eyebrow before saying they probably wouldn’t be able to do anything.

I never heard anything about it again but we did get charged to repair the dryer door. My father contacted the hotel’s corporate office, apologizing for the dent and explaining what had happened. The charge was removed without comment.

This story is part of our Best Of April 2021 roundup!

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Parenting Is Calling Out The Stupid

, , , , , | Right | September 23, 2020

I work at a laundromat that has machines up front, but we also do commercial laundry in the back. We have a register to offer change for the machines, which I am standing next to with my back to the register. Behind me on the counter is a bell for when we’re in the back. A little kid of about five or six dings the bell and I turn around.

Kid: “SORRY!”

Mother: “Sorry isn’t an excuse when you do something stupid on purpose.”

I had to laugh. Even though it’s annoying to get the bell rung when you’re standing next to it, that mother made my whole night.

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A Brain The Size Of A Pinhole

, , , | Right | September 18, 2020

I work in a dry cleaner. We attach a safety pin and tag to mark a customer’s clothing so it won’t get lost. A customer walks in:

Customer: “You put a hole in my coat!”

Me: “May I see it?”

He starts scanning the coat, looking for the hole.

Customer: “I can’t find it; it was the size of a pinhole. Can you sew it shut?”

Me: “If it’s the size of a pinhole, then wouldn’t me trying to sew it shut just make another pinhole?”

He looks at me in the eye for like a solid fifteen seconds.

Customer: “I think that’s the stupidest question I’ve ever asked anyone, I’m sorry.”

He then walks out. I never saw him again.

Share your experience today! Ever tried to answer a truly stupid question? Share your story with the NAR community! It lets others with similar experiences know they’re not alone!

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The Second Amendment Versus The Fifth

, , , | Right | April 24, 2020

I am working in a laundromat. A customer comes in wearing a handgun in a holster on his hip. He isn’t doing anything wrong, but the aisles in the laundromat are small at the best of times, and he is the type of guy who doesn’t move out of the way for people.

As a result, people are having to squeeze past him while he stands there in the middle of the aisle, his hand constantly resting on his gun. Several people flag the owner down and complain.

Customers: “He is making us nervous and uncomfortable!”

The owner goes up to the man.

Owner: “Sir, may I ask you to put the gun in your car or otherwise take it off the premises?”

The man blows up, not loud, but venomous and angry.

Customer: “It’s my right to carry my gun wherever I want, no matter what!”

The owner tries to calm him down.

Owner: “I don’t have anything against guns in general, but you’re making the other customers nervous.”

It doesn’t matter; this guy is determined to make a scene.

Owner: “If you’re going to refuse to remove the gun, then I will ask you to leave the premises completely.”

The man stormed outside and began snapping pictures of the building and talking on the phone. The next thing we knew, a couple of cop cars pulled up outside. My boss knew a lot of the local police because we have to call them sometimes to remove drunks or help break up fistfights from the liquor store next door. He went outside to meet them and I watched from the window.

The man stood there talking, hand still resting on his gun. Apparently, he was insisting that my boss had violated his rights by making him leave. The cops had to spend a good five minutes at least explaining to the man that while he did have the right to open carry, the laundromat was private property and my boss could refuse service and have him removed for almost any reason. That included making other customers nervous.

The man finally left, and over the next couple of days, customers kept showing us posts he’d made all over Facebook about how we were fascist for not letting him stand in the middle of our aisles with his hand on his gun while other customers nervously squeaked by him. The best part was that nearly every comment on his posts was telling him what a moron he was and chiding him for constantly looking for a fight over his gun.

Plenty of people had carried in the laundromat, both concealed and open carry. They were just respectful about it.

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Daylight Save Yourself The Trouble

, , , , , | Right | June 29, 2018

(I work in a laundromat. Spring daylight saving just happened yesterday, and I was the only one that worked yesterday. Before being told this story, I have just mentioned staying late last night to clean up, as customers were there a little past closing. We closed at six pm.)

Coworker: “You know the customer…” *describes him*

Me: “No?”

Coworker: “Well, he came in today, saying he was here yesterday.”

Me: *searches memory* “Oh, yes! Now I remember; he was here yesterday.”

Coworker: “He came in today and he was really mad! He said he came back at 5:30 yesterday to get his stuff out, making sure he had lots of time left before we closed, and that the girl here yesterday left early; everything was off and locked up! I told him that’s really strange that she would do that and to let me check my timesheet. It said she clocked out after six pm. He said no, that must be wrong, and he started arguing with me about it. I thought about it for a moment and went, ‘Did you get confused with the time change?’ He said, ‘No, that happens at midnight Sunday.'”

Me: “Well, it was two am Sunday, so he’s a bit off. I was definitely here past closing. It’s hard to clean up around people; I didn’t finish until they left just after six. The computer clock changed automatically and so did the debit machine. I did the wall clock myself.”

Coworker: “I know. I didn’t think you would leave early. He was really mad and kept insisting you had.”

(At this point, my coworker goes to the bathroom briefly, and I ponder this story. She gets back:)

Me: “Wait, he was saying midnight Sunday? Meaning, when it changed it would be one am Monday, not 12:00 Monday? As in, the time change hadn’t happened yet?”

Coworker: “Yes, exactly! So I was trying to explain that you didn’t close early, but he didn’t believe me. I had to sit down and read a book; I couldn’t explain time to him. Another customer was in here, laughing at him!”

Me: “Wow. That just makes it worse. How did he not know when the time change happened?”

Coworker: “I don’t know; maybe he didn’t talk to anyone about it or see anything about it.”

Me: “To be honest, daylight saving is confusing, but not that much.”

(Yes, daylight saving had occurred over twelve hours before “5:30,” and this guy had gone that whole time not knowing.)

This story is part of our Daylight Saving Time roundup!

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Read the Daylight Saving Time roundup!

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