Nefertiti The Scribe

| Long Island, NY, USA | Friendly | February 16, 2017

(I am at the laundromat, reading a book while waiting for my clothes to finish. Another customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Oh! What are you reading?”

Me: “It’s about the history of ancient Egypt.”

Customer: “Oooh, is it an autobiography?”

It Bearly Happened

| WI, USA | Romantic | March 12, 2016

(It’s the day before Valentine’s Day and my girlfriend and I sit in the arcade room of our local Laundromat. A man walks in, and begins playing on the claw machine. After a few unsuccessful attempts, he continues funneling money into the machine. I am in awe. Every time he loses.)

Me: “Awww.”

(For the first time, he looks back and cocks a smile. But soon after he leaves.)

Man: “Screw this.”

(I sit, disappointed. But then, not more than a minute or two later, he comes back.)

Man: “I’m getting this d*** bear!”

(He continues. Finally, after four or five more attempts, he gets the bear.)

Me: “Oh, my god!” *claps*

(Without looking, he throws the bear at us. It’s a black bear holding a red heart that says “Love”)

Me & Girlfriend: “Thank you!”

Man: “No problem.”

(We took the bear home, and gave him a place between our stuffed animal-collection. I still don’t think he knows how much that made our day.)

Being Mean To Kids Never Tasted So Sweet

| WI, USA | Friendly | March 20, 2015

(I am the mean one in this story. I’m sitting at a laundromat waiting for my clothes to get done while eating M&M’s. I’m separating them by color when this happens.)

Little Kid: *walks up to me eyeing my candy* “That’s a LOT of M&M’s!”

Me: “Yep.” *keeps eating them*

Little Kid: “Can I have some?”

Me: *with the meanest face I can possibly muster* “DIDN’T YOUR MOTHER TEACH YOU NOT TO TALK TO STRANGERS?!”

(The little kid starts screaming and crying and runs back to his mother. Meanwhile, I hear this.)

Mom: “Well, she’s right! And what did I tell you about taking candy from people you don’t know?!

A Sudden Flood Of Laundry

| NY, USA | Right | March 2, 2015

(I work as an attendant at a coin-op laundromat. It’s open 24 hours, but we only have staff inside from about 9 am – 4 pm most days. One of the services we offer is a drop-off laundry service where customers who do not want to wait around can drop off their laundry, and we will wash, dry and fold it for them for an extra charge. However, because staff is only on-hand until 4 pm, our policy is that any laundry that is dropped off after 2 pm will be done the next morning and be ready by noon. One day, it’s 4 pm and I’ve just locked up the office for the day, when suddenly a car screams into the lot and a young woman rushes out, carrying several huge canvas bags full of laundry.)

Customer: *exasperated and out of breath* “Wait! Don’t close! I need you to do this laundry!”

Me: “Okay.”

(I re-open the office and begin to prepare a drop-off slip, assuming she wants me to do it the next day.)

Customer: *dropping laundry in front of me* “I need this done within an hour.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. That’s going to be impossible today.”

Customer: *shocked* “What? But I need this done in an hour!”

Me: “I’m really sorry, but our office closed at 4. Any laundry dropped off after 2 has to be done the next day, because it can take a long time to get certain orders done. And your order looks quite large, so there’s no way I could get it done within an hour, anyways.”

Customer: “Bull-s***! My washer and dryer at home could do all of this in a half hour!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’ll have to disagree. You have a huge load of laundry.  It’d probably take me two hours or so to wash, dry and fold everything there. If I may ask, why not just do the laundry in your machines if they’d supposedly get it done so much quicker?”

Customer: “You’re just lazy! You’re lazy! I don’t want to do my laundry. I want you to do it!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I already clocked out and the office closes at 4 pm. The policy is no orders after 2 pm can be done the same day. And I’m hardly lazy. I did a shift that was nearly 20 hours straight last week in order to work on a huge order from a local flood-zone. Then I came in for another 10 hours the next day to finish it.”

Customer: “So you’re lazy AND a liar!”

(The customer turns and storms off, inadvertently slipping on the floor and falling to her knees because she is stomping around haphazardly. She stands up, turns, and screams at me.)

Customer: “Your lazy a** isn’t leaving until you scrub this flood! I just slipped on it because your lazy a** won’t clean it! I’ll have you fired if you don’t fix this!”

(I had literally just mopped up about a half-hour earlier and gotten it very clean.)

Me: “Okay.”

(I mopped the floor a second time and put down a “Caution: Wet Floor” sign while she glared at me. She finally stormed out after unsuccessfully trying to get me to do her order again afterwards. I was finally able to leave an hour after closing. In that hour, she made no effort to do her own laundry, even though she needed it done ‘in an hour.’)

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Keeping Your Shirt On For Four Months

| Buenos Aires, Argentina | Right | June 18, 2014

(I work at my mother’s laundry service. This is not a self service shop; we actually sort and place the clothes in the washer and drier machines. A regular customer comes into the shop.)

Customer: “You’ve lost one of my son’s t-shirts.”

Me: “That seems unlikely, but we’ll be sure to look around and see if we find it. If it somehow got mixed up with another customer’s clothes, I’m sure they’ll bring it back. What is the t-shirt like?”

(She proceeds to describe the shirt. Later I speak to my mother, who assures me that nothing was lost in that package, and further informs me that the shirt in question was really old and in extremely bad shape. Still, we look for it around the store and it is not there. The customer starts to come by the store twice a week for several weeks, and on each occasion she demands, each time more aggressively than the last, for the shirt to be returned or for us to refund her.)

Me: “We are completely certain that the shirt was not lost at our locale, and that even if we wanted to refund you, the shirt you are claiming really has no value to refund.”

Customer: “Fine! I vow never to come by your shop again!”

(Four months later, the phone rings:)

Me: “Laundry service.”

Customer: “Hi. I’m [Customer], and I wanted to let you know that we found the missing t-shirt in our summer home by the beach, so you guys can stop looking for it now.”

Me: “Well, thanks for the heads up.” *turning to the empty deposit behind* “Guys! You can stop looking now! She found the shirt!”

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