Customer: “I have a return.”

Me: “Okay!”

Customer: *slaps down box with “[Tax Software] FOR WINDOWS” on front*

Me: “It’s been opened…”

Customer: “I put it in my computer and it didn’t work.”

Me: “Was there something wrong with the disc?”

Customer: *becoming irate* “No! I can’t use it in my computer!”

Me: “Why can’t—”

Customer: “I have a Mac!”

(When we explain we can’t return open software unless it is defective, he becomes angry, declares we have lost his business, and storms out.)

Me: *to manager* “He says he’s never shopping here again.”

Manager: *in a sad, dead voice* “He’ll be back next tax season. They always come back.”

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Potatoes, please.”

Me: “What kind?”

Customer: “I want potatoes.”

Me: “We have French and curly fries, hash browns, and wedges. Which would you like?”

Customer: “Poh-tate-ooohhhs.”

(I scoop up some French fries and show it to the customer.)

Me: “These?”

Customer: “Yes! Potatoes!”

Customer: *looking through the doors at the pool* “Is that your pool?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Do you have another one?”

Me: “No.”

(I work on the customer service desk of a large retail store and we are getting ready for a sale.)

Customer: “Can you price check this for me?”

Me: “It’s £3, as it says on the label.”

Customer: “But there’s a mark on the back. That means it’s in the sale.”

Me: “It has been marked to identify it as sale, which starts tomorrow.”

Customer: “But it’s over there, on that rail with other items. That means it’s on sale.”

Me: “We have to start rearranging the store two days before the sale starts as we have a lot of stock and it can’t be done in one day.”

Customer: “But if it’s there then I should be able to buy it now at sale price.”

Me: “No. Nothing is marked up at sale price and there are no signs stating it is sale.”

Customer: “So I can’t buy it now? But if I came back at eight pm could I buy it then?”

Me: “No. We would be shutting, and as I have explained the sale starts tomorrow.”

Customer: “But I don’t know what I am doing tomorrow.”

Me: “We open at six am if that’s any help!”

Customer: “Well, I might be back.”

(She then walked off. I love how some customers think they can change the rules to suit themselves.)

Shake off the week of bad customers… with even more bad customers! Find for your reading pleasure below, a roundup of the most popular stories of the last week (May 16th – May 22nd 2016)!

• Trying To Give The Waitress (Bread) Schtick (993 votes)
• She’s No Shrimping Violet (909 votes)
• We Are Siamese If You Don’t Please (902 votes)
• Nil By Brain (894 votes)
• A False Cart (893 votes)

See more roundups here! Don’t forget to check out this week’s comic!