Reading Like They Were Born Yesterday

(I’ve just turned 21 and am at our local liquor store near our college, buying my first legal bottle of alcohol.)

Employee: “May I see your ID?”

Me: *dutifully hands over driver’s license and straightens up proudly*

Employee: *stares intently at the license for 10-15 seconds and hands it back*

My Friend: “Aren’t you going to wish him a happy birthday? He’s 21 today!”

Employee: “Oh, no sh**?! Happy birthday?” *grabs my license back* “Where’s the birth date on this thing, anyway?”