Probably Thinks You Can Get Minerals From Minecraft, Too

I am talking to an older client who is unhappy with how a design has turned out, despite following his exacting specifications.

Client: “No, no, no! I want a gold trim! And in Art Deco style! Did you learn nothing in design school?!”

Me: “[Client], I know what Art Deco is. I went through several Art Deco examples with you and you decided on the version that is currently in the design.”

Client: “This is ridiculous. I’ll just go down to the photo shop myself and have it done!”

Me: “[Client], you’re welcome to take your requests to a photography store, but they can usually only do basic touch-ups to existing photos, not graphic design.”

Client: “You’re just trying to keep me as a client! Tell me where the photo shop is that sends you all the designs!”

Me: “I do all the designs myself; I don’t outsource to a—”

Client: “No, no, you always talk about the photo shop! Where is it?! I want to talk to them directly!”

The penny drops.

Me: “[Client], are you talking about the software I use for my designs, Photoshop?”

Client: “I don’t care what software they use. Just give me their address!”

Me: “[Client], there is no physical shop or store that does the designs. I do them, on a piece of computer software that is called Photoshop. That’s all there is.”

Client: *Pauses* “Well, then give me the name of the person that runs Photoshop! I need the head honcho for this!”

Yes, this client wanted to talk to Adobe directly to create his flyers for his flash sale on cocktail sticks and napkins.