One Day, They’ll Wake Up And Smell The Coffee… But Not Today

A customer comes in who is an every-day regular. They get the same thing, so I pre-empt their order.

Me: “Extra strong latte with soy milk and hazelnut?”

Regular: *Looking annoyed* “How did you know that?”

Me: “I remember you, sir, and you get the same thing every morning.”

Regular: “Are you accusing me of being predictable?!”

Me: “I’m just saying that… you have a routine, sir. I meant nothing by it.”

Regular: “Well, I don’t like it! I don’t like you thinking you know me!”

Me: “I don’t, sir. But from now on, I’ll ensure you ask for your drink without us guessing it.”

Regular: “Well, I’m going to show you! I’ll just have a regular latte today!”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Regular: “But put in an extra shot; I need the caffeine.”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Regular: “And make sure you use soy milk! I’m lactose intolerant!”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Regular: “And maybe add a pump of hazelnut. Your coffee is so bitter!”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Regular: “Ha! See! You thought you had me, didn’t you?!”

And with that, he paid for his totally-different-than-usual drink.

The next morning, he had completely forgotten who I was and was back to ordering the same way.