On Their Coat-Tails

(It is a Saturday night, and really quiet. A lady comes in five minutes before closing time on her cell phone. My manager and I are the only ones in, and my manager is preparing for our nine o’clock sales calls to all the stores in the district, so I go up to the customer.)

Me: *a little quietly, since the lady is on her phone* “Excuse me. I just wanted to let you know we’re closing in five minutes.”

Lady: “Oh, I’ll just be a few minutes.”

(She walks around for several minutes before finally getting off her phone.)

Me: “Can I help you find what you’re looking for?”

Lady: “Yes. My dog is really small and low to the ground, and I need a jacket for her, but I don’t want it to get wet with the dew on the grass.”

Me: “Oh, I know the perfect jackets. You’ll want something with this–” *I hold up a rain-jacket-type material* “–kind of material, so it won’t absorb the dew.”

Lady: “Oh, well, what about this one?”

(Holds up a woolen jacket that would absorb any moisture from the grass.)

Me: “Well, that will keep your dog warm, but you said her belly brushes against the grass, so that jacket will pick up the moisture and could become cold.”

(After showing her several more jackets, she finally picks one. My manager is watching as she does the sales calls and points to her watch. I nod, knowing that it’s past closing.)

Lady: “How can I make sure that this will fit my dog?”

Me: *giving the normal spiel for this question* “You can always take it home and try it on, and if it doesn’t fit, you can bring it back with the receipt and exchange it. We normally recommend bringing your dog in so we can try it on, and you don’t have to deal with coming back in multiple times and having to do many exchanges. We are open at ten am tomorrow morning, if you wish to wait and bring your dog in.”

(The lady then proceeded to take twenty minutes looking at the jackets. Every time I got her to pick one, she saw another and asked about it. We only had two or three styles that wouldn’t pick up moisture, so I was constantly repeating what I said about the material. Finally, my manager saw that I was beginning to grow impatient and stepped in while I finished the sales calls. The lady ended up making us half an hour late for closing for a $5.99 sale.)