Nothing Compared To The Smoke Coming Out Of Her Ears

My workplace is situated in an outdoor arcade with shops down each side and stalls in the middle. I have been frequenting a stall close to my shop for years, buying drinks and chatting with the owner on my lunch breaks. I am smoking a cigarette as I buy a drink.

Owner: “Busy today?”

Me: “Nah, pretty quiet.”

Owner: “We’ve had a few through. Here you go, that’ll be $2.”

Me: “Thank—”

Just as I am handing my money over, something from behind me hits me in the face and knocks off my glasses. Then, I feel a whack across my wrist, causing me to drop my cigarette.

Lady: *Screeching* “You’re disgusting! Disgusting filthy smoker!”

An old lady has whacked me in the face with her walking stick!

Owner: “Hey!”

The owner reaches over the counter and snatches the lady’s walking stick right out of her hands.

Lady: “That’s mine! Give it back.”

Owner: “Not a chance. I’ve told you before about bothering people around here. I’m keeping it this time. Now, get lost before I call the cops and have them book you for assault!”

The lady grumbled a bit and left without her stick. It turns out that she regularly bothers smokers in the area, hitting them with her stick and slapping “No Smoking” stickers on their faces and in their hair. This wasn’t even the first time the owner had taken her stick away!

I gave the owner a big tip and we’ve joked about the crazy No Smoking Lady ever since.