Not So Nice Spice

(It is a slow day at the take-out restaurant I work for. Our menu has labels that state very clearly if something is “spicy.” I get a call from a frantic semi-regular customer.)

Customer: “You made the dish I picked so spicy!”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “I know on the menu it says, ‘spicy’! But it is never usually spicy. My mother cannot eat this!”

Me: “Yeah, usually we do not make this dish really ‘spicy’ because of our clients, but some new chefs do not know this. You could always ask for it non-spicy.”

Customer: “I never thought to ask! I want a new one.”

Me: “Okay, hold one moment; let me talk to my boss.”

(I put her on hold and talk to my boss, who agrees to make a new one — even if it was supposed to be spicy.)

Me: “My boss said we can make you a new one; just bring the old one back. It should take about five minutes.”

Customer: “Oh, no! I want it delivered.”

Me: “Delivered? But you picked it up.”

(Also, the delivery driver would not be tipped, so they would not want to be sent out.)

Customer: “I know, but I do not wish to go back out.”

Me: “Sorry, we cannot deliver it. If you want a new one you have to come get it.”

Customer: “Fine, my mother will just deal with it!” *hangs up*