No One Wants To Stay In The Hospital, But Come On

I work at the information desk at a hospital. One day, a patient comes up to me, tells me she is being discharged, and asks me to call for a van from an organization that works to support those experiencing homelessness with transportation and other services. 

I call the number, and it ends up being a very time-consuming, chaotic experience as I end up on hold for quite a bit, and then I have to keep going to find the patient to pass questions along from dispatch. The patient goes outside for a smoke, then to the gift shop, etc. I finally get it all sorted out and go for my break. 

When I get back…

Coworker: “While you were gone, the van came for that patient. Not only was she nowhere to be found, but the folks from [Van Organization] gave me her last name, and when I looked her up and called the unit, they told me that [Patient] was very much not discharged whatsoever!”

Hours later, the patient comes by. 

Patient: *Mumbling* “You can cancel that van.”

I have since learned to always check in our system when patients ask me to call for a ride, just to double-check before inconveniencing people or sending someone away before they are medically discharged!