(Me and my wife both love eating white bread with Nutella on it. When one of us wants to eat one, we ask the other as well.)

Me: “Would you like Nutella bread?”

Wife: “Nah, I’m good!”

Me: “Are you really sure?”

Wife: “Yes, I’m good. I’m going to bed in a moment.”

Me: “Okay, then!”

(I go and make two of slices of bread and go to my wife again.)

Me: “Are you sure you don’t want one? I made two.”

Wife: “Well… since you made one…” *grabs one of the breads*

Me: “I know you so well!”

(Recently, I have gotten a haircut, but my girlfriend thinks the bangs are way too short. One night I am sitting beside her and she is fluffing my bangs.)

Me: “Trying to make me look like I’m in the ‘80s?”

Girlfriend: “No. I’m just fixing your bangs.”

Me: “I know you think they’re too short.”

Girlfriend: “Eh. They’re growing on me.”

(I am about to comment on the pun when my girlfriend’s eyes widen.)

Girlfriend: “… Ohhhhhh…”

Me: “OHHHHHHHHH!”

(Needless to say, we high five.)

(My husband is just shy of being a hardcore geek. I, on the other hand, will often passively watch a series and seem like I’m not interested, but absorb enough detail about a show/game/whatever to make any geeky significant other proud. I will, however, play the awkward geeky wife card just to be silly. I am starting the car and turning on the heating and adjusting settings before taking him to work, and he is already having a bad day.)

Me: *as I’m pressing the windshield defrost button* “Diverting power to forward shields.”

Husband: “…”

Me: “You know… because the icon looks like a shield?”

(My girlfriend works night shifts, while I work days. As such, she’s usually asleep when I get home in the afternoon. She also talks in her sleep. I come home one day and find her in bed, but I’m unsure if she’s asleep.)

Me: *whispers* “Hun?”

Girlfriend: “Hey, [My Name]. I got a call from the hotel!”

(I’m confused, as we have no travel plans.)

Me: “Wait. What hotel? What are you talking about?”

Girlfriend: “The… hotel.”

Me: “Are you even awake right now?”

Girlfriend: “… Maybe.”

Me: “Are you going to remember this when you get up?”

Girlfriend: “That’s what I have you for!”

(She didn’t remember it.)

(Our grandson and us are attending a game fair. One of the vendors hands out foam zombie brains. We manage to get two for our grandson. Apparently, the brain is a bit hard for a five-year-old to hold onto, because we have to keep chasing it down. We are walking in the neighborhood when our grandson again fumbles the brain. We get quite a few stares when he wails:)

Grandson: “Oh no! I’ve lost my mind!”