All of our stories, starting with the newest!
(I am a big ‘Star Wars’ fan and my girlfriend has seen the movies but isn’t into the series as much a I am.)
Girlfriend: “I love you!”
Me: “I know.”
(My girlfriend starts glaring at me and pokes me hard in the ribs.)
Me: “Ow! I love you, too…”
Girlfriend: “See, that wasn’t so hard.”
(Talking to her later I found out that she did catch the reference. She just needed to hear the words.)
(My boyfriend is generally quite shy around strangers and not very talkative, especially on the subway during our morning commute. I don’t really mind, but still have trouble adapting to the serious change in his demeanor. As we sit down in the subway carriage in the morning he grows quiet and somber.)
Me: “Ah, babe, are you sure you’re really not sad now? You look totally destroyed!”
Boyfriend: *deep melodramatic sigh* “There will come a day when we will truly know each other, and you will no longer feel the need to ask me if I’m sad on the subway.”
(It is our two month anniversary, and we are discussing food since we can’t be together.)
Me: “Do you like black jellybeans?”
Boyfriend: “Yes!”
Me: “ Cool, I’ll give them to you tomorrow.”
Boyfriend: “Aw! I love you”
Me: “I shall bribe your love with food.”
Boyfriend: “Then I shall love you forever!”
(My wife came home yesterday and was anxious to show me her cell phone.)
Wife: “I wrote my phone number on the side of its case so if it’s lost someone can call me and let me know.”
Me: *not sure if I heard correctly* “Can you repeat that again?”
Wife: *repeats what she just said*
Me: “Let me get this straight: Let’s pretend that I’m a stranger and I just found your cellphone. What am I supposed to do?”
Wife: “Because the phone is locked you should call the phone number I wrote on the case.”
Me: “So I call your cell phone number to tell you that I found your phone? I think I’ll be getting a busy signal.”
Wife: “Why?”
Me: “Think about it a minute.”
(About 30 seconds transpire before the dawn of realization comes over her.)
Wife: *face-palms*
(My little sister and I are at the store. A woman comes up to us and starts talking to my little sister.)
Woman: “Hi there! What’s your name?”
Sister: “My Mommy calls me ‘Trouble!'”
