(I’m very autistic and get stressed out in crowds and when I’m away from familiar places for too long. Despite the fact that I love France, I am still an English tourist surrounded by unfamiliar things. I had an operation on my back a year ago and it is still very painful when people touch it unexpectedly. When I am in an art gallery, someone bumps into my back.)

Me: “I need to sit down.”

Dad: “I don’t know where there are any chairs, [My Name]. You’ll have to keep walking.”

Me: “No, seriously.”

(I reach the other end of the room before sitting cross-legged and as far out-of-the way as possible. I start stimming (repetitive motions made by autistics), though it doesn’t prevent the meltdown, and my memory goes too fuzzy for me to remember at this point. However, there are some bits that I remember.)

Dad: “[My Name], follow my breathing.”

Me: “I can’t!”

(When I calm down enough to look up and try to stand up, I find a lot of people who seem to be looking at me from my perspective. Some have their phones out, but they were probably trying to take a photo of the painting behind me. However, I still haven’t regained enough logic to be able to understand that and start to think that they’re filming me, which sends me back into my meltdown.)

Dad: *to other people* “Please can you give her some space? She’s autistic.”

Mum: “I’ll go and find someone to help.”

(She finds a security guard who speaks English, as I am the only person in our family who can describe my mental health conditions in French, and I cannot currently speak many words of English.)

Dad: “Come on, get up.”

(The security guard opens a rope for us to get to an isolated room where I can calm down. However, he leaves for a moment and returns, looking rather more angry. At this point, I am blaming everything on myself and am thanking him as much as my anxious brain can manage. It isn’t until later that my parents tell me what had happened.)

Mum: “It wasn’t your fault. There was a tour guide and when she saw that the guard wasn’t watching because he was looking after you, she decided to get her group through to the main part while skipping the other rooms. The guard saw and he asked to see her tour guide card, and when she showed it to him, he took it away, which is bad for her, because that’s how she made her living.”

Me: “What?”

Mum: “She saw that the guard was paying attention to your panic attack, tried to break the rules, and lost her job.”

Me: “So I inadvertently got a tour guide fired?”

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(My good friend works for a commercial cleaning company, works long hours, and has recently moved, so I hardly get to see her anymore. I tell her they work her too hard, but she accepts it, usually. Yesterday we were finally able to get together for a nighttime movie. We have just purchased our tickets and are about to go into the theater. Her phone rings.)

Friend: “Hello?”

Coworker: “Hi, [Friend]? Are you still in the area?”

Friend: “Yeah, but I’m about to see a movie… Why?”

Coworker: “Well, so, [Client] from earlier called back. Apparently we forgot to move her furniture back inside and she’s demanding we do it tonight before it rains.”

(There’s an expectant pause on the other end.)

Friend: “…Yeah?”

Coworker: “Yeah, so I need you to go back and let the techs into the office for their equipment, in about half an hour. [Other Coworker] wants to go home.”

Friend: “…I just told you I’m about to go into a movie. I bought the ticket already.”

Coworker: “Well, yeah, but… can you leave in the middle of the movie and go let the techs in?”

Friend: “…No?”

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(My girlfriend and I go for some coffee and donuts. I order a vanilla latte and a donut. The staff is new, but they are working hard. Having worked in food service myself I’m very lenient when mistakes are made as long as the person who makes the mistake is willing to fix it with a good attitude. When I get my latte, I take a sip and it tastes awful. I open up the lid and discovered that whoever made it burnt the milk so severely the top layer of my drink was black. This is the exchange that happened at the counter.)

Me: “Excuse me, there’s a problem with my drink. It seems that it has been burnt.” *shows employee the drink* “Would it be possible to have it remade? Sorry for the trouble.”

Employee #1: “Oh, dear, I’m really sorry. Just give me a minute to remake it!”

Me: “No problem. Thanks so much!”

(A second employee walks up and begins talking.)

Employee #2: “Those are clearly chocolate sprinkles. We put sprinkles in our coffee drinks. It’s always going to look like that.”

Me: “First, I’ve gotten vanilla lattes in lots of places and I’ve never had sprinkles on them. Second, clearly that is burnt milk on top! Look at it! Third, it tastes awful. That’s why I want it remade.”

Employee #2: “Oh.”

(They remake my drink and I thanked Employee #1 since she was polite and I felt sorry that she was stuck with Employee #2. The real kicker? My drink tasted even worse the second time, so I opened it up and there was a huge glob of vanilla syrup right in the middle. Employee #2 didn’t even stir it up! I ended up throwing away the drink and never going back!)

(I’m a team leader of four guys, all working different shifts. Late one afternoon I get a phone call.)

Worker: “Hi, [My Name]. Sorry, I know I am suppose to be in tonight, but we have just been broken in to.”

Me: “Wow, I’m sorry to hear that. Do you think you will be able to cover any of your shift?”

Worker: “I don’t think so, but I will try.”

(I am in a bad position; with such short notice and no-one to cover we risk tens if not hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of stock.)

Me: *on phone* “Hi boss, just a quick update, [Worker] won’t be in as he having personal issues at home.”

Boss: “Unacceptable! Tell him he has to work or be fired!”

Me: “You can’t do that.. He is entitled to time off.”

Boss: “No, he isn’t! Call around and get someone in!” *hangs up*

(I ring around and can’t get cover. Thankfully, despite the issues at home, the worker comes in for some of his shift. The next day…)

Boss: “I found out that you didn’t get cover last night, I am incredibly disappointed. I think you are not cut out for this job.”

Me: “I figured you would say this, so here.”

Boss: “What is this?”

Me: “It is the legal pages for time off. As you can see I acted totally appropriately in this instance.”

Boss: “I, err…”

Me: “And by the way, you don’t pay me to be a team leader, so, yes, if you want to take it off me, please do.”

Boss: “I, I, err. Okay, well, okay then. Get back to your desk.”

(This wasn’t the first or last time it happened. He would constantly be ignorant of the law to try to get his way. I eventually told him one too many times to take my position off me, and he did. Then asked me to do it again two weeks later!)

Waiter: “Table five wants vegan nachos. And yes, I already told them that that’s basically just toasted chips with tomatoes and jalapenos and they still want it.”