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Magical Multiplying Pizzas

, , , , , | Working | December 27, 2021

I’m going to surprise my spouse by ordering pizza. I prepare to sneak out the door to go pick it up.

Spouse: “Pizza’s on the way. Hurry back.”

Me: “What do you mean, ‘Pizza’s on the way’?”

Did the toddler rat me out?!

Spouse: “I ordered pizza. It’ll be here soon.”

Me: “I ordered pizza.”

Spouse: “We both ordered pizza?”

Me: “How much did you spend?”

Spouse: “$30 for two from [Company #1].”

Me: “That pizza had better be fantastic, because I spent $15 for a large three-topping and cinnamon thingies from [Company #2].”

Spouse: “Yeah… I didn’t want [Company #2], and it was delivery plus tip.”

Me: “Welllll… Guess I’ll go pick up my order and we’ll just have $45 of pizza.”

Spouse: “I’ll call my brother and see if he’s hungry.”

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!

I get to [Company #2]’s location. I head in.

Me: “Hey, I know I’m early. The pizza’s probably still in the oven, but I just wanted to let you know I’m here whenever it’s ready.”

Pizza Guy: “Oh, we haven’t even started your order. Our computers have been down all day. We’ve just opened. We’re an hour behind on orders. We’re calling everyone now to see if they still even want their orders.”

Me: “Oh.”

Pizza Guy: “We’ll go ahead and get started on your order right now.”

A lightbulb pops on in my head.

Me: “Actuallyyyyy… funny story. My spouse and I both decided to surprise each other with pizza for lunch. His is being delivered, so I came out to pick up this one. I truly would much rather pay you guys for the pizza, but I don’t really need both orders.”

Pizza Guy: “Haha, that’s great. You hear that, [Coworker]? Don’t worry about that order. We’ll go ahead and cancel it for you.”

BUT IT DOESN’T STOP THERE!

I head home and the delivery guy shows up.

Delivery Guy: “Just sign this and here’s your pizza.”

Me: “Oh, okay, here you go. Weren’t there supposed to be two pizzas?”

Delivery Guy: “Uhh… yes… Ah… Let me check my car… I might have mixed up the order with someone else’s pizza back at the store. I’ll be back with it as soon as I can.”

Me: “Oh, thanks. Sorry for the mixup!”

Delivery Guy: “Me, too!”

A short while later:

Delivery Guy: “Here are your pizzas. We went ahead and credited your account for two free pizzas next time you order.”

And that is is how you get two free pizzas by trying to buy too many pizzas.