(We are in math class. Our teacher uses an overhead projector to teach lessons. Whenever he wants us to listen, he says:)
Teacher: “Everyone drop your pencils! This is important!”
(One day he must have been distracted.)
Teacher: “Okay! Drop your pants!”
(The class erupts in laughter.)
Teacher: “Pencil! I meant PENCIL! Now, don’t go telling your parents…”
(I am an 18-year-old freshman, doing a very difficult perspective drawing for animation class. The teacher is kind of uptight and does not like me very much. I am struggling during one assignment and am not quite finished, but the class is coming to a close.)
Teacher: “[My Name], you can stay after class if you want to finish up.”
Me: “Really?”
Teacher: “Yes. I’d like for you to stay and turn in a more complete work.”
Me: “Thank you so much!”
(I end up staying 15 minutes after class ends and turn in a product I am proud of. The next class period arrives, and we all get our assignments back. I got an A, but it was marked down to a B for being late. I thankfully got through the class and never had to be taught by her again. I later heard she was dismissed due to all the complaints from students!)
(It is sophomore year, in honors US history. We have a student teacher who, while a good teacher, sometimes misses the details. A classmate and I share the same first name. Our teacher is handing back an assignment, late in the semester. For the sake of this story we will call ourselves Sally.)
Teacher: *hands me other Sally’s worksheet, graded*
Me: *to other Sally* “Oh, this is yours, Sally.”
Teacher: “But you’re Sally.”
Me: “Yeah, I’m Sally [My Last Name]. She’s Sally [Other Last Name].”
Teacher: “But there’s only one of you. Wait. We have TWO Sallys in this class?!”
Other Sally: “Yes. I’m Sally [Other Last Name]. She’s Sally [My Last Name]. You had no idea there’s two of us?!”
Teacher: “Wow. No, I guess I never noticed…”
Us: “How have you been grading our work?!”
(The teacher walks away, changing the subject. Fast forward a week later. I’m called down to the dean’s office for ‘ditching class,’ which I had never done.)
Dean: “So, you missed US history two weeks ago. Care to explain why?”
Me: “Oh, Sally [Other Last Name] was absent that week. Our student teacher just realized there are two of us. She probably marked the wrong one down as absent.”
Dean: *prolonged silence* “She… what? She didn’t realize there were two of you?”
Me: “Seriously. Check Sally [Other Last Name]’s attendance. I bet she was marked absent all day except US history, the same hour as me.”
Dean: *slowly looks up her attendance sheet* “I… Well… You’re right. I’ll have to talk to her. I guess that’s all I had.”
(It is the last day of the year. My English teacher is shouting out advice for the summer while everyone is leaving the class at the end of the day.)
Teacher: “Wear sun cream when you leave the house and remember to stay hydrated. Eat fruits like oranges and melons. Drink a lot. Go for juices and water… and… um…”
Me: *whispers while walking past* “Whisky, gin…”
Teacher: “Whisky, gin!”
(Pause.)
Teacher: “No! Wait! Don’t do that!”
(I work at the bookstore of a technical college. We have a large population of non-traditional students. It is the first day of class and a student who is in her forties comes to my register with her books.)
Me: “Okay. Anything else I can get for you today?”
Student: “Yeah. You can tell me where my class is?”
Me: “Well, I was never a student here, but I’ll try. What is the room number?”
Student: “I don’t know.”
Me: “What building is it in?”
Student: “I don’t know.”
Me: “Where’s your schedule? It will list the building and room number by your class.”
Student: “I don’t have it.”
Me: “You don’t have any schedule or paperwork from the school, no information on your class at all?”
Student: “No! All I know is my teacher’s name.”
Me: “I can’t help you. And honestly, I don’t understand how you could come to your first class so unprepared.”
Student: *obviously irritated with me* “Where’s the library, then?”
Me: “Go out this building and down that pathway. It’s the second building on the left—”
Student: “Forget it! I’m not walking that far!”
(She leaves.)
Me: “Good luck in college!”
