Stories from school and college

How To Rattle A Snake

| Learning | June 21, 2013

(A kid in my class likes to mess with me. Most of the time, I ignore him. One day, enough is enough. He likes to call me “snake,” but it’s not my real name. It’s just what he likes to tease me with.)

Boy: “Hey. Pssst. Snake!”

(I ignore him, as I am currently working on a difficult assignment.)

Boy: “Snaaaaaaaaaaaaaake.”

(He shakes the back of my chair and I continue to ignore him.)

Boy: “Snakesnakesnakesnakesnake” *shakes chair more*

Me: “What do you want?”

Boy: “Snakesnakesnakesnakesnake—”

(I wordlessly reach back with my notebook, slap him in the face and carry on with my work as if nothing happened. The boy opens mouth in shock, stops hassling me. There was no more chair shaking after that!)

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Girl Power Never Ends

| Learning | June 20, 2013

(My chemistry teacher will go over tests with you personally if you want to do a re-do. Since I failed one, I take the opportunity. He often plays music and while he is going over my test with me, a certain song comes on. Some students start dancing a bit while working.)

Teacher: “No dancing in the lab!”

(He goes back to teaching until the chorus, when suddenly…)

Teacher: *dancing and singing “If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends! Make it—”

(He catches himself and reverts to his previously austere demeanor.)

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We, Like, Like This Student

| Learning | June 20, 2013

(One day, during the after-school recess, I start talking to an exceptionally bright student about middle school.)

Me: “Middle school’s going to be rough, but don’t ever stop being smart, no matter what the popular girls tell you.”

Student: “Oh, it’s okay. I can play the part of popular girl and still do well in school.”

Me: “Oh, really?”

Student: “Yeah, I’m a very good actor. I can totally be like, ‘Oh, mah gawd, guys, great!’ and then in class, ‘A, A, A, A…'”

Me: “Nice.”

Student: “And then when they ask me, ‘Oh mah gawd, how do you do that?’ I say, ‘Oh, I don’t know. I, like, do my work, and like, pay attention in class, and like, study! And I totally, like, care about my future and going to college!'”

Me: “You are amazing. Don’t ever change.”

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Let Sleeping With Teachers Lie

| Learning | June 20, 2013

(I am a student teacher, volunteering at a local primary school while on break from uni. On the playground at the end of the day, while all the parents are collecting the children, one seven-year-old girl starts a conversation with me.)

Girl: “[My name], do you live in your university?”

Me: “Not at the moment; it’s quite far away from here.”

Girl: “So do you travel there from here every day when you have to be there?”

Me: “No, I’m on my summer holiday from there at the moment. When I need to be there I live in a house near the university.”

Girl: “Do your mummy and daddy live with you there?”

Me: “No, they stay here. I will be living with some other people who are also teachers.”

Girl: “Ah right! So the university makes you do that so you can practise sleeping with other teachers?”

(This seven-year-old girl seems to understand universities a lot better than she realizes.)

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Don’t Leave Him Hanging

| Learning | June 19, 2013

(I work as a cleaner for a college that has a lot of families staying on campus. When my coworker and I are bored, we often go outside and clean away the leaves. A 3-year-old of one of the familes comes up to us and starts asking questions.)

3-Year-Old: “Why are you cleaning the leaves up?”

Coworker: “Because it makes this place look better, and if the leave get picked up here, they don’t come inside and be annoying.”

3-Year-Old: “Oh. Do you guys pull the leaves off the trees first?”

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