If Only They Could See Themselves

It is 1999. I am working in technical support for an ISP. I get a phone call from a young-sounding lady and I help her to configure her email client. Her partner also has his ear near the phone so he can listen in. Throughout the call, she is covering the mouthpiece, but I can still hear the muffled conversation with her partner.

Client: “They really are spying on everything we do on the Internet?”

Client’s Partner: “Yeah. Motherf****** government watching everything we do. Large corporations, too; spying on us! You have to be real smart to know how to avoid them!”

Me: “Okay, what I need you to do is click on tools and then go to accounts. Okay, great. Please enter your name. Good. Please move a little to the left as I am having trouble seeing you. Great. Now enter your email address.”

In the background:

Client: *In panicked whisper* “Oh, my God. He can see us! What do I do?”

Client’s Partner: *Sounding very strained* “Oh, man, he can see us. F***, this is bad. It’s what I told you. This is real bad. F***!”

Client: “What should I do?”

I heard a lot of bumps and noises in the background and the line went dead. I can only think that they must have yanked the phone cable out of the wall. I could have gotten into trouble for that, but that call kept me smiling for the next month.