He Got His Loan… But At What Cost?

Many years ago, I started working for a minor company, and pretty much everybody warned me that [Coworker #1] (among others) was a major moocher. “Don’t ever loan him money!”

After a month or so, I’d confirmed that, and I’d also learned that [Coworker #1] was a MAJOR pest.

The next time he hit me up for a loan “until payday”, I “reluctantly” let myself be convinced.

He should have known better.

I started reminding him of the loan several days before payday. On payday, of course, he didn’t have the money. By a week or so after payday, he flinched when he heard my voice, and he was actively avoiding me! It was marvelous!

A couple of months later, a female coworker that [Coworker #1] had a crush on came over to my machine, obviously irritated. [Coworker #2] seemed rather surprised that [Coworker #1] didn’t tag along all the way over there. I wasn’t surprised in the slightest!

She made some disparaging remark about him, so I asked if she wanted him to go away.

Coworker #2: “YES!”

Me: “No problem!”

I stepped around the corner.

Me: “Hey, [Coworker #1], about—”  

[Coworker #1] disappeared so fast, I swear there was a sonic boom!

[Coworker #2] was staring when I came back around the corner, laughing.

Coworker #2: “How did you do that?!”

Me: “Magic! Say the magic words, and the annoying little git disappears every time!”

I eventually explained things to [Coworker #2], and she thought it was hilarious.

And it turned out that there was someone else who had done the same thing I had. We were amazed that [Coworker #1] never paid either one of us off to make it stop.