Has No Problem Espresso-ing Herself, Part 8

I’m meeting a friend at a local coffee shop. She’s in her sixties, grey-haired, slim, and nicely dressed. She looks like someone’s grandmother, or maybe a retired schoolteacher. We get our coffees and go sit down and start catching up.

The next customer begins yelling at the barista for getting his coffee wrong. After listening to him berate the poor kid for a minute or two, my friend speaks up. She’s a retired marine and she knows how to make her voice project.

Friend: “Sir? Excuse me? May I ask you a question?”

Customer: *Irritated* “Yeah, what?”

Friend: *Speaking clearly and calmly* “How small does your d**k have to be to make a sixteen-year-old girl cry over a god-d***ed cup of coffee?”

Everyone in the store can hear her, and a couple of people laugh. The man glares at her for a moment and then stomps out of the shop. My friend turns back to me, smiling sweetly.

Friend: “Where were we? Oh, yes… How’s your mamma and them?”

Related:
Has No Problem Espresso-ing Herself, Part 7
Has No Problem Espresso-ing Herself, Part 6
Has No Problem Espresso-ing Herself, Part 5
Has No Problem Espresso-ing Herself, Part 4
Has No Problem Espresso-ing Herself, Part 3