Going Gaga Over The Phone

A woman comes in and dumps her toddler on my desk, and then her phone.

Customer: “My phone is broken!”

The toddler is sitting there burbling away, drooling an above-average amount. It’s a bit distracting but I retain my customer service composure.

Me: “What is wrong with it, ma’am?”

Customer: “It doesn’t turn on anymore!”

I pick up the phone and it’s sticky. I remove it from its protective case, and the sides are absolutely covered in a sticky liquid. Then, I look at the toddler, who is reaching for the phone with their drool-covered hands.

Me: “Ma’am, do you let your child play with your phone?”

Customer: “Yes, so?!”

I stare a bit more at the drool demon, their sticky hands, and then at the phone, and finally, back at the customer.

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t cover water damage.”

She bundles up her phone and toddler, leaving behind an already-impressive amount of drool on my desk. As she storms out, she shouts back:

Customer: “It’s not water! It’s spit!“