God Is Busy With Revelations, Fighting Evil, And Ensuring That Maude Gets Her Items On Clearance

, , , , , | Right | May 22, 2020

Every Sunday, we scan items on the sales floor and mark them down for clearance. Customers will sometimes see what we’re doing and ask us to scan items they want to buy to see if they’re on clearance, and since it only takes a second of our time, we’re allowed to oblige them.

It’s currently the afternoon and a sweet little old lady who looks like she just came from church approaches me with some jewelry.

Sweet Lady: “Excuse me, but I noticed you were doing the clearance and I wanted to buy this, but I was wondering if you could see if it’s on sale for me?”

She hands me the jewelry and I happily scan it for her. The machine beeps and prints out a clearance ticket for the item.

Me: “You’re in luck. It’s on clearance!”

The lady suddenly shouts at the floor, catching me by surprise.

Sweet Lady: “YES! Screw you, Satan! That’s another victory for the Lord!”

She then shuffled off to pay for her items while I tried hard not to burst out laughing.

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