Give This Customer The Boot

I’m working at a backpacking store while I’m in college, and I sell a woman a pair of Gore-Tex-lined hiking boots.

Customer: “I’m going camping this weekend by the river, but I’ve never spent any time in the woods. These will help, right?”

Me: “The boots are technically waterproof, but that only really matters for rain, not walking into a river.”

The following Tuesday rolls around, and she comes in with the boots in the box.

Customer: “I want a refund.”

Me: “What was the problem?”

Customer: “They have a lifetime guarantee, don’t they?”

Me: *Repeating* “What is the problem?”

She opens the box, and it is clear that she got the boots wet and tried to dry them next to the fire. They were obviously too close, and the back quarter of both boots is burned and melted.

Me: “I cannot give you a refund.”

Customer: *Getting loud* “Call the manufacturer! Get me my refund!”

Okay, I’ll bite.

I call the boot manufacturer and explain the situation to the customer service representative (in front of the customer). The customer service rep laughs out loud, to the point that the customer can hear it.

I hang up and step back to the customer.

Me: “They will not be replacing the boots.”

Customer: “Ugh! Fine! Just throw them away for me, then!” 

Me: “No, thank you. I don’t want my store to smell like burned nylon, leather, and rubber.”