Give Them To Me Before I Go Biblical On You

I see a customer with an armful of Bibles. He’s heading towards the fiction section. I approach him.

Me: “Sir, please put those back.”

Customer: “Why? How do you know I’m not going to buy them?”

I hold up my hand.

Me: “Look, drop the act. We all know you’re going to put these in the fiction section because you think it’s funny. But you’re the fifth person to do it this month and it’s not funny; it’s just a lot more work for us to find them and put them back. If you’re going to actually buy them, then the checkout is in the opposite direction from where you’re walking. If not, please just hand them over so I can put them away correctly.”

To his credit, he looked defeated and handed them all over.