(My friend and I are headed to a headphone disco.)

Friend: “You know, I don’t think it’s started yet. I can’t hear the music…”

(A friend and I are attending a local college that we both drive to daily. Classes are over for the day, and we are walking to our cars. Ahead of us in the parking lot is a woman with a seeing-eye dog walking to the bus stop on the far side.)

Friend: “How does the dog know which car is hers?”

Me: “Huh?”

Friend: *pointing this time* “How does the dog know which car is hers?”

Me: “…Seriously?”

(I laughed for nearly a full minute before she realized that she asking where a blind woman parked a car.)

(My best friend from grad school is getting married and has asked me to be her maid of honor. I’m her only attendant.)

Friend: “So since it’s just you, I figured I’d let you pick out your own dress.”

Me: *relieved* “Sounds good to me!”

Friend: “So, how do you feel about yellow?”

Me: *horrified* “Dude, you’re black. You look great in yellow, but I’m a pasty white chick and will look like I’m sick as a dog.”

Friend: *pause* “Good point. The other color is blue, how’s that?”

Me: “Now THAT I can do. Blue it is!”

(That’s one bridesmaid dress I’ve actually been able to wear again – and ‘no yellow’ has become girlfriend code in our whole circle for ‘you’re going to marry this one and I will NOT wear a yellow bridesmaid dress’ when meeting someone’s new boyfriend!)

(I’m sitting with a group of friends from college at a bridal shower tea party. It’s been awhile since we’ve all gotten together.)

Friend: “I think some of your scone just went down your shirt.”

Me: *glances down* “I’ll eat it later.”

Friend: “I’ve missed us.”

(I have recently moved to a very isolated community, one you can only get to by plane. It’s a small community and I have not made a lot of friends yet. I am talking to a friend of mine on Skype. I’m 26.)

Friend: “You need some friends.”

Me: “Do imaginary friends count? Emily is sitting next to me.”

Friend: “Only if they don’t talk back to you. Once they start talking back to you it’s a mental health issue.”

Me: *turns to side* “Emily, do you talk back to me?” *pause* “She says ‘not yet.'”

This story is part of our Mental Health Awareness roundup!

Read the next Mental Health Awareness roundup story!

Read the Mental Health Awareness roundup!