(I’m visiting my cousin in the hospital, who is 19, pregnant, and is almost a week past her due date. I am allowed by the nurses to take her outside to a small picnic area, where we have lunch. Suddenly, an old man in a wheelchair wheels over. Having worked in food service and dealt with some nasty people, I prepare for the worst.)

Old Man: “When are you due, young lady?”

Cousin: “Oh, I’m almost a week past my due date, which has the doctor concerned.”

Old Man: “Well, I hope the baby turns out to be just as beautiful as you.” *smiles*

Cousin: *blushes and smiles* “Oh, well, thank you, sir. That’s very kind of you.”

Me: *meekly* “I’ll be honest; I thought you were coming over here to scold her.”

Old Man: “Oh, no. I imagine you faced a lot of criticism since it’s fairly obvious you’re younger, but God gave you this baby for a reason, and who am I to denounce Him? The world would be a lot better place if people realized that God is all about love and forgiveness, not hate and punishment.”

(At this point, my cousin was nearly in tears and she hugged him around her belly. He was called away by one of the nurses, and the very next day, my cousin had her baby, a healthy little boy.)

(I just bought some food items but the checkout it is a bit cramped in space, so I take my groceries, amongst others a bunch of grapes, outside to put them away. A mother passes by with her two young kids.)

Mother: “Can I have some grapes?”

Me: “Ehm, no.”

Mother: “Please, for my poor babies? They really want some and I can’t buy them.”

Me: “Sorry, no.”

Mother: *to her kids* “Come on, the mean lady doesn’t want you to have grapes. She doesn’t care you are hungry. She is going to eat them all by herself and that is why she is a fat cow!”

(The clincher? She exited the same shop a few moments after me and both her kids were snacking on a pack of crisps.)

(I’m 22 and have recently enrolled in college after dropping out of high school at age 16. Whilst I wasn’t good at making friends or attracting girls when I was 16, at 22 I’ve grown up enough to work out how to do both quite well. One of my new friends has spent the last few weeks seriously crushing on one of the girls in class. However, his awkwardness has managed to scare her off more than anything. I’m sitting in class one day and the girl comes in, sees me, and for no reason gives me a big hug.)

Me: “What was that for?”

Girl: “You looked like you needed a hug and I wanted to give you one.”

Me: “Aww, thanks. I do feel better now.”

(She gives me a second big hug and goes back to her seat. I look across the desk and see my friend with a look on his face of utter confusion.)

Friend: “I don’t get it. I say all the nice stuff and offer to buy her lunch and I can’t get a hug… You sit there looking a little sad and girls just hug you… How do you do it?”

Me: “Well… first off, you spend the next two years getting nowhere with girls. Then you turn 18 and go to a bar and realize that you can talk to girls if you’re a little drunk… Then, after remembering enough of the things you said during those times, you start to realize that it’s as simple as just talking to them like you would any other person.”

Friend: “I see… So, you’re saying that I just need to be normal.”

Me: “No. You need to get drunk.”

This story is part of our Making Friends roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

15 Stories About The Power Of Best Friends

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(Three college friends and I are looking at new places to rent, starting at the beginning of our summer break. We find a place that looks relatively nice, is in a good neighborhood, but is unfinished. We sign the lease in January under the condition that the house will be livable by July. What results is an absolute disaster, with the house not having electricity or running water, legal threats given by the landlord’s daughter, and emergency maintenance by the landlord’s son. We cannot reach any of them about when the house will be completed and livable. After no more than three days of being there, and no finish date in sight, we get a phone call from our landlord:)

Landlord: “I’m sick and tired of you guys harassing my family and harassing me about when this job is going to be done. I’ve never met such rude people in my life, asking for so many unreasonable things. I’m tearing up the lease right now and you’re going to get refunds. I want you out in two days.”

(He then hung up. No apologies were ever given. This nearly cost all of us our summer employment, and we had to find new places to live before the new school year!)

(Last year, both my mother and my stepfather – at different times of the year – suffered from chronic nosebleeds and ultimately had to get their nasal passages cauterized so they don’t bleed as easily. My best friend knows this. Fast forward to this year, when I have been experiencing a similar rash of nosebleeds. The first one happens very randomly while my friend and I are attending an anime convention, and I am horribly embarrassed but grateful to the attentive con staff. I have a total of five bleeds throughout the weekend, but then don’t have another one for several days. This is perhaps two weeks after the con, and she and I are out to lunch.)

Me: “Good news, I haven’t had a nosebleed in five days.”

Friend: “You had another one?”

Me: “Yeah. Monday night I woke up around two in the morning because my nose was tingling.”

Friend: *very seriously* “Are you going to have to get your nose castrated like your mom?”

(Once I finally stopped laughing, I had to explain the difference between castration and cauterization.)