Entitlement To Drive You Around The U-Bend

I am working front-of-house. A guest comes up to me.

Guest: “I’ve just dropped my car keys down your toilet!”

Me: “Sorry to hear that! I’ll call—”

Guest: “Why would you design the restaurant that way?”

Me: “Well, they’re just standard toilets. I can call someone to help you retrieve them.”

Guest: “I flushed them.”

Me: “Oh… well, then I—”

Guest: “Isn’t someone going to offer to drive me home?”