Tobaccoooh-Nooooo

My parents own a vegetable farm. I help harvest and I go to the produce market to sell. A customer is browsing our vegetables, smoking a cigarette as we’re outside.

Customer: “Are these all organic?”

Me: “Yes, totally organic.”

Customer: *Dragging on their cigarette* “I only eat organic stuff ’cause pesticides are bad for you.”

Me: “We don’t use pesticides, just regular fertilizer only.”

Customer: *Stubbing out the cigarette on the ground and getting out a new one* “Hmm, are you sure? Some fertilizers have those chemicals in them.”

Me: “Just good old organic fertilizer.”

Customer: *Lighting new cigarette* “Hmm, I don’t know. These vegetables don’t look all that organic.”

Me: “I can guarantee that these vegetables are about as organic as it’s possible to get.”

Customer: *Dragging a third of the cigarette in a single breath* “Hmm, I’ll think about it. Just worried about all those chemicals.”

They wandered off to another part of the market and I could finally breathe again.