Do Not Eat

(At this time I’m 21 and I had dyed my hair dark brown with blue streaks, although they had faded to a dull green. [Customer #1] is a woman and [Customer #2] behind her is a man. Both are more than twice my age.)

Customer #1: “You know, that green in your hair kind of looks like celery.”

(I smile as politely as possible and finish her order.)

Customer #2: “You know, I don’t think you look like celery. But if you were I’d eat you.”

Me: *stunned silence*

(I managed to make it through the order after that. Thank goodness it was an express lane and he only had a few items!)