Customers Like This Really Crumble My Muffin

I’m manning the desk on my typical day shift when a rewards-member guest arrives at my small highway-side hotel property in a fairly square state.

Check-in is normal. The guest doesn’t tell me what he needs; he simply gives me his name and lets me figure it out. I try to be as charming as possible. This rewards-member guest is the judge of the dog show that’s in town. The dogs are impressive, but not as impressive as His Dear Muffin.

Me: “Will Muffin be joining us?”

Guest: “Of course! I could never leave him in the car!”

It is policy at this property to register guests’ pets and charge them a $50 pet fee per room that will have a pet occupy it. Housekeeping does extra work cleaning these rooms, so it’s only fair.

So, I grab our pet policy form and start to go over the rules with Mr. [Guest]. (They’re all very basic: don’t let your pet run around unleashed, don’t bring them to breakfast or the pool, if they destroy our stuff we’ll make you pay for it. etc.) The first guideline on the paper is the mention of the $50 pet fee.

Guest: “Oh, so there’s a $50 pet fee?”

Me: “Yes, sir, Muffin must also be a registered guest.”

Guest: “You’re going to waive that, right?” *Laughs*

Me: “No, sir. Every pet staying in our hotel must pay a pet fee.”

Guest: “Is that pet fee worth this reservation?”

Me: “Mr. [Guest], if you bring a pet, you must pay a pet fee. It’s our policy.”

Guest: “Yeah, but I’m saying, is charging me this $50 pet fee… worth the entire reservation? Really?”

Me: “Mr. [Guest], if you are saying you would rather not stay at our hotel, I’m happy to honor that request.”

Guest: “Are you serious right now?”

Me: “Yes, sir. I will be happy to honor your request to cancel your reservation.”

Guest: “Maybe I will…”

The guest gets on his phone to call the rewards member customer service about his pet fee-related prosecution. Right then, the man’s beautiful wife with raven hair walks into the lobby.

Wife: “What is the holdup?”

Guest: “Oh… Uh, nothing.”

He then stops trying to argue with me and finishes up the pet policy, which he then passes me across the desk. He makes direct eye contact with me and whispers:

Guest: “You’ll regret this.”

One week later, he hadn’t left any sort of review, and rewards member customer service did not mention anything about a guest who just couldn’t possibly fathom there may be a pet fee for his pet. I, in fact, laughed about this with my manager and didn’t, in fact, regret this.