And Yet He Lives With A Nut

(A customer with her toddler comes into the store while I’m working on another customer’s order.)

Customer: “I want to know if your peanut butter cookies have nuts in them.”

Me: “Yes, yes they do.”

Customer: “Oh, well my son is allergic to nuts. Do you have any that don’t have nuts?”

Me: “You could try the oatmeal raisin.”

Customer: “No, he doesn’t like raisins.” *picks up a different cookie*

Me: “Um, those are white chocolate macadamia nut, which also have nuts in them.”

Customer: “Well do you have anything that is nut-free here?!”

Me: “We have cakes with fruit in them, muffins, bagels, croissants and scones. Would he like those?”

Customer: “You people don’t care about my child!” *storms out of the store, child in tow*

Me, to coworker: “How is he still alive?”

Coworker: *shrugs*