A Grand Tour Of The Smoking Section

Tours at our tourist attraction leave every thirty minutes, with a loud announcement about two minutes before a tour leaves.

Two women walk in about ten minutes before a tour leaves, pushing a baby stroller.

Tourist: “What time is the tour?”

Me: “In ten minutes. There will be an announcement as long as you’re inside the building.”

Tourist: “Cool, thanks.”

The women go outside for a smoke. They’re out there for over thirty minutes. The tour goes by and they miss it because they didn’t hear the announcement outside.

Tourist: “Where is the tour?”

Me: “It left already; there was an announcement.”

Tourist: “I didn’t hear it!”

Me: “Well, there’s another one leaving in ten minutes. As long as you’re inside the building, you’ll hear it and you can go on it.”

Tourist: “All right, thanks.”

The women go back outside for another thirty-minute cigarette break and then walk back inside. You guessed it…

Tourist: “Where’s the tour?”

I then get yelled at because we “didn’t tell them that the tour was leaving.”

They storm out with a two-year-old in tow, yelling:

Tourist: “I didn’t drive three hours to put up with this bulls***!”

My boss looks at me.

Boss: “Guess they’re driving three hours after putting up with our bulls***.”