Your Complaint Will Be Sorted By How Much We Care

I work at a big chain liquor store. It’s huge; last I heard, we sold about thirty thousand different products. We sort by liquor type and variety, obviously, but once you get to, for example, the Chardonnay aisle, it goes by price.

A man comes in who I don’t recognise until he starts speaking. He proceeds to have a nearly identical conversation with me to the one we had the last time he was here.

Customer: “I’m looking for [Wine].”

Me: “I’ll look it up for you.”

Customer: “Aren’t your products arranged alphabetically?”

He must have worked out that they’re not by the time he’s wandered around and asked for assistance.

Me: “No, they’re not. They’re organized by liquor type and variety, and then by price.”

He makes a big production of sighing and rolling his eyes.

Customer: *Emphatically* “That’s ssssstuuuuupid!”

I spent years working at an independent grocery store where the prices were pretty expensive. I got so used to people saying stuff like, “This is bloody ridiculous! I can get this for half the price at [Big Chain]!”

I developed a personal policy of not giving an inch. I’m not talking about people politely inquiring or criticising, by the way; I’m talking about people who need me to know that they’re super angry about things outside of my control.

So, as he’s repeating, “It’s stupid!” I calmly say, “Oh, okay,” and continue to search for his product. Obviously, this is not the reaction he wants, so he keeps going.

Customer: “It’s stupid! Why would they do that?!”

Me: *Still calmly* “Oh, I think you told me that last time you were here.”

Customer: “Then why didn’t you change it?!”

Me: “It’s not up to me.”

Customer: “You can pass on the message!”

Me: “I did, but unfortunately, I don’t think it will change anything as these chains all follow the same layout.”

Of course, I didn’t; my boss would just stare at me if I took him aside to tell him a customer said the store was stupid and asked us to change it.

Customer: “When will the store manager be in next? I’ll come in and talk to him!”

I can’t imagine wasting your life like that.

Sir, if you are out there, I can’t possibly express how little I care what things you find stupid.