(I work in a shop that sells budget clothing. Since we don’t have a changing room, many customers buy things and return them a few days later when they’ve had a chance to try them on. Since I am usually the only person on the till and my new manager goes berserk if I leave the till unattended, I usually leave it until the end of the day to put the returned items back out, when we’re tidying the shop up to look presentable for the next day. I have just put a dress back on its rail.)

Manager: “[My Name], did you just tidy that rail?”

Me: “No, I was doing menswear and kids. I just wanted to put these returns back so I could get the till point tidy too.”

Manager: “Well, it’ll save time if you tidy this as you go. Otherwise there’s just more work for me and [Coworker] to do!”

(The very next day I have more returns to put back in womenswear. I put my first item back and begin tidying the stand it’s on.)

Manager: “[My Name], what are you doing? Are menswear and kids tidy yet?”

Me: “No, I was just putting this back…”

Manager: “Well, that’s not acceptable! If I see you tidying all the way over there, I’m going to assume that menswear is already done, and that area needs to be perfectly tidy as it’s right at the front of the store! Go back and check that it’s all tidy!”

Me: *sighs* “Okay…”

(The day after that there are lots of returns to put back out. I leave them until the very end of the tidying, knowing that anything else is going to get me into trouble, but by this point it’s getting late, and my manager sees me carrying a huge pile of dresses across the shop.)

Manager: “You know, maybe we should start putting returns back out as we go!”

Me: *speechless*

(I’m waiting in the Social Security Administration office to obtain a replacement Social Security card. As they call out each waiting person, this happens.)

Speaker: “Would B43 report to window ‘E’ as in Apple?”

(I’m confused, but figure she actually said ‘A’ and it was just an accent thing. Some other patrons mutter about it, but I brush it off. Several minutes later…)

Speaker: “Would C88 report to window ‘D’ as in dog? See? I’m smart!”

(Everyone in the waiting area burst out laughing. I guess she really did flub up with the “Apple” one and decided to run with it.)

(Many years ago I worked in a grocery store. We had the local taxi service under contract to do deliveries for us, and we had a delivery ready to go.)

Me: “[Cashier], hey, we’ve got an order ready to go. Could you call the taxi company and get them to come pick it up, please?”

Cashier: “Sure! What’s the number?”

Me: *states phone number*

Cashier: “And then what?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Cashier: “Well, what do I say to them?” *begins talking in a really sarcastic tone* “Hi! This is [Cashier] at [Grocery Store]! I’d like to order a taxi, please!”

Me: “Yes. That’s exactly what you say.”

Cashier: “REALLY? That’s all you have to do to call a taxi?”

Me: “Yup. Now, could you do it, please?”

Cashier: “Well, I can’t.”

Me: “Why?”

Cashier: “Because I’m shy. I can’t talk to a complete stranger on the phone.”

(The park where I work operates primarily during the summer, so we do most of our hiring during the spring. This occurs near the end of June.)

Me: *answering the phone* “Hello, [Park]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, hi. I applied and interviewed with you guys a while back, but I couldn’t start until now. Could I get scheduled?”

Me: “Sure, can I get your name so I can pull up your information?”

(The caller gives their name and I pull up the information. I see that, indeed, this person was hired on at the beginning of May, but there is a note stating that they could not start working until the end of June, due to an extended vacation abroad.)

Me: “All right, I see everything looks like it’s in order. You need to get scheduled for training, right?”

Caller: “Yeah, as soon as possible.”

Me: “Sure thing.” *checks the system* “Looks like our next training sessions are already full, so the soonest I can schedule you is [a date in July].”

Caller: “There’s nothing sooner? I was hoping I wouldn’t have to wait that long.”

Me: “There is, but those trainings are already completely booked. I’m afraid the earliest one we have is [date I’ve already stated].”

Caller: “That won’t work. I’m going out of town on [earlier date in July].”

Me: “Okay… um… Can I ask when you are coming back from that trip?”

Caller: “I won’t be back until [date near the end of July].”

Me: “Okay. Umm… well, the next date we have after you return would be [date in August].”

Caller: “That late!? There’s nothing earlier?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but all our other dates are when you’re going to be out of town. I’m afraid that is the earliest one that matches your availability.”

Caller: *sighs* “Well, I was really hoping to start working earlier, but I guess I don’t have a choice. Thanks.” *hangs up*

(I’m still not sure how this person expected to work during the busy summer season when spending nearly two and a half months on vacation!)

(I am 16 years old but look more like I am maybe 13 or 14. I am openly bisexual and wear a bracelet out of pride for my orientation. I am paying for some grocery items.)

Cashier: “Hello, how ar—” *drops tone very low* “Sweetie, are you are aware of what that charm means?”

(She is referring to the charm of the word ‘Pride’ in a rainbow color scheme on my bracelet.)

Me: “Umm… yes, I’m well aware.”

Cashier: “Honey, you’re much too young for that! Don’t let them brainwash you into thinking you’re gay! You’re still just a little girl!”

Me: “Uhh, Ma’am… I’m not gay, I’m—”

Cashier: “See! Told you so! You really shouldn’t be wearing such a horrid piece!”

Me: “Ma’am… I’m not gay, but I am bisexual. See these colors?” *referring to the blue, purple and pink color scheme* “These are the colors of the Bisexual Pride Flag.”

Cashier: “Don’t be silly! There’s no such thing as being bisexual! You’re just confused and brainwashed! You should come to our Sunday service; they’ll set you right!”

(By now I have finished paying and I am gathering my bags.)

Me: “Ma’am, I am far from confused. I know who I am and a Sunday service will do me no good since I’m an atheist. Have a good one!”

(As I leave, she has the most shocked and flabbergasted face I’ve ever seen. As I exit, my boyfriend (who is now my husband) meets me with the car and I proceed to tell him what happened.)

Boyfriend: “Why didn’t you play it up more?! That would have been gold!”

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