Who Let This Person Run A Business?

Client: “So, just so you know… our payroll team here is quite slow.”

Me: “Okay. How does that impact my work for you?”

Client: “Well, it just means that we may not be able to pay you straight away.”

Me: “That’s okay. Your accounts team should pay my invoice directly, so there’s no need for payroll to get involved.”

Client: “No! We can’t do that! Accounts are only for physical things, like computers and paper. You’re a human and you’re providing us with a resource, which means it has to go through Human Resources and payroll. Don’t worry. You will get paid. They’re just slow. It may take two or three months before the first paycheck comes around.”

Me: “I’m not an employee here; I’m a contractor. My invoice terms are clear, and if you’re not able to abide by them, then we don’t have a deal.”

After some back-and-forth, I decide not to proceed with our arrangement.

Client: “If you walk away from our agreement, that’s illegal. I can call the police on two counts: firstly, for breaking a legally binding contract, and secondly, for asking us to pay you off the books.”

I walked away from the deal. Never heard from the police, either.