We’ve Upgraded You To Time Travel

(I am on the phone with customer service about an item I ordered.)

Me: “Hey, I ordered this item this morning [Wednesday] with two-day shipping, but it says it won’t arrive until next Tuesday.”

Customer Service Rep: “Sorry, that item isn’t in stock until Saturday. After it is in stock, it will be normal two-day shipping.”

Me: “The page says nothing about it being out of stock.”

Customer Service Rep: “It does on my screen, sir.”

Me: “It doesn’t anywhere on mine. It says it’s in stock.”

Customer Service Rep: “Sorry about that. I’ll upgrade you to one-day shipping for the inconvenience. Now the item will arrive this Friday.”

Me: “Um… Friday is before Saturday.”

Customer Service Rep: “Yes, that’s correct, sir. I’ve upgraded you.”

Me: “So, the item will be here on Friday?”

Customer Service Rep: “Yes.”

Me: *long pause* “Okay, then.”

(Yes, it arrived on Friday.)