We’ll Just Pretend This Makes Any Sense

A potential client from a huge corporate meat plant called me.

Client: “I need you to design tickets for an event.”

Me: “Great! What’s the event?”

Client: “I want to sell tickets to a football game, but this game is only in our minds; it’s pretend. You know how Mickey Mouse is only pretend?”

Me: “Yeah, I underst—”

Client: *Cutting me off* “It’s like that; it won’t actually happen. It’s a game between the ‘University Of [Meat Plant]’ and the [Actual NFL team].”

Me: “Do you have permission to use that—”

Client: *Cutting me off* “The event will be on August 32nd, and everyone will buy tickets to the game, buy T-shirts, the works! Since it’s an impossible date, the other team won’t show up, which means they will forfeit AND WE’LL WIN!”

Me: “No.”

Client: “Why not?”

Me: “It’s literally a scam, you don’t have permission for all of this, and you cut me off every time I sp—”

Client: *Cutting me off* “Please?”