Undefined Print

(A couple walks up to my register with a cutting board and asks me to price-check it.)

Me: “Ten dollars.”

Wife: “Really? I’m going to grab another one so I can use my coupon!”

(I notice she has a $20-off-$50 coupon, but of course, the fact that she has to spend $50 is in the fine print.)

Me: “Just to let you know, that coupon is $20 off $50, not $20 off $20.”

Wife: *who was cheery and pleasant, but is now angry* “Show me where it says that!”

(I literally read it off the back of the coupon that she has to spend $50.)

Husband: “Can I use [different coupon for 35% off] on this vacuum?”

(I scan the vacuum, and of course, it’s on a sale that’s excluded from our coupons. Just my luck.)

Me: “I’m sorry. Because the vacuum is on [excluded sale], you can’t use that coupon, but you can use two of the $20-off-$50 coupons because the vacuum is over $100.”

(His wife slams two of the $20-off coupons onto my counter and just as I feared, each coupon only takes $10 off because home store items are under the $10-off tier on the coupon, also in the fine print. I tell the couple this, and they’re not happy to hear this.)

Husband: “Seriously? This always happens to us. Your exclusions are impossible.”

Me: “I’m sorry. I don’t make the exclusions; that’s corporate.”

Husband: “I know you don’t.”

(His wife storms off to find something else to use the rest of her $20-off coupons on while he buys the vacuum. I start taping a bag onto the vacuum box to show that he’s purchased it since we’re out of the stickers we would normally use. I go back behind my counter when I’m done and I just giving the husband a polite, civil smile.)

Husband: “I don’t find this amusing. You look like you’re enjoying this. You look like you enjoy doing this to customers.”

(What I really want to say is, “I’m 19 and making minimum wage. I really don’t enjoy being harassed over coupon policies you know I have no control over.” Instead, I say this:)

Me: “No, sir, I don’t. I’m just smiling to be polite.”

(I saw them both with a cart full of items several times throughout the day, and the husband refused to look me in the eye. I kind of hope he felt bad for harassing me.)