Touch My A** And I’ll Sue Yours Into Oblivion

I once worked in an office where I built apps for large businesses. My boss was a frat boy and never seemed to have grown out of it, and a few of our clients were in his fraternity. As you might imagine, this led to a lot of bad behavior.

One client was the absolute worst — just a complete sexist pig — but I would suck it up because I was young and well-paid, so I didn’t want to mess things up. One day, that all changed.

Client: “Hey, [My Name], how’s it going?”

Me: “Fine.”

Client: “The app is looking great! I’d love to take you out sometime to thank you.”

Me: “That’s not necessary. Thanks, though.”

Client: “Come onnn! It’s just dinner! Plus, if you keep up the good work, I may have to steal you and hire you on for in-house work.”

Me: “Really, no, thank you. And I’m not looking to leave [Company] right now.”

I realized then I was thirsty, so I got up with my water bottle to go refill it. I brushed past the client, but one of his hands cupped my butt cheek. I immediately whipped around and punched him in the nose.

Client: “Ow! What the—”

Me: “You touched my a**, right in front of my coworkers and a camera! You’d better be ready to hear from my lawyer.

I didn’t have a lawyer yet, but I knew I would. Just then, my boss came out.

Boss: “[My Name], come here.”

I stormed into his office, naively hoping he would side with me.

Boss: “Why did you just punch [Client]?”

Me: “Because he grabbed my a**!”

Boss: “That’s not a good enough reason. He’s reported you have an attitude with him any time you two talk. Because of these repeated issues, I’m going to have to fire you immediately.”

Me: “You can’t be serious.”

Boss: “Look, you’re a beautiful woman. I would have grabbed your butt, too, if it were that close to me.”

Me: “You would what?!”

And that’s how I ended up suing both my ex-employer and the client, winning enough money from the settlements that I won’t owe a dime while I go to law school so I can help more women in my situation.

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